25/08/04

19:38

 

Well I was having a great day yesterday had my friends all with me, and had a good laugh on here, but my dad signed on and seen my msn message telling ed to sod off, and he rang me asking what was up and what was going on, I talked to him for a bit and then hubby came home, and he asked why i was upset, I told him aboutmy dad and he said something I wasnt really listening and then he said about he was prepared for me to have ed for a lot longer than this, and I told him i wanted rid of it for good, then I started crying,

and I cried and cried,

I was still on line and sarah came home tried to talk to me buI couldnt cope, i knew it had to come out but I just couldnt let it, I felt stupid useless and so weak, hubby was there to hold me and he talked to me for over an hour and I love him so much I felt even worse cause he cares,

 

Stupid ed, stupid me for letting him get to me, and for me thinking for a moment I cant beat him.

hardly ate anything yesterday, or today, but hubby asked me to bake a loaf I have a bread maker and so I did now I know I will eat this, and ed is telling me not to, but you know what i am gonna say sod off, sod off,

 

will try and keep going will really try,

 

I cant give in now,

my rant for today,

 

love and hugs all

Dawn

xxxxxxx

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