Lots of people don’t like talking about stress, or mental health.

I’d say even more so this last year. But things can take a turn at anytime in your life.

I tried, I was doing okay, but this month of April, I had my vaccine shot (first one) and it kicked my ass. I then got a cold which wiped my smell and taste away again.

It’s pretty easy to see where I started to introduce food again, and though it’s been a little up and down in the week it’s been going up and up, till it hit critical with extra stress as above this month.

I have limits set. And set for a reason, so that I have to address it. Before the turn last year it was extra weight and stress. Now I’ve no extra weight to lose. I’m under what I was in 2019. But not quite as low as hospital weights.

I’ve done what I can this week, cut the coffee, drank more water, and it’s coming down, I had 3 days of rest from food. Its really hard for anyone to understand the feelings around this.

I’ve tried my doctors, eating disorder groups and talking but no one gets it.

Food is the devil. There no pleasure only pain. I can just about taste sweet stuff. Spicy, nope. Got the hottest Siracha sauce today going. Was like tasting mayonnaise and Paul couldn’t stand it… Haha

But it sucks.

I get to go to the docs Friday. 3mth checkup. Its been 9 mths since I had bloods done. I feel okay, but I’ve lost half my hair and have bald spots… 😭

I was getting new hair growth, but if I curb the food again 😭

I want to see a way out of this, but the emotions around it are some of the worst.

Went shopping today, the washing aisle was like walking into a human waste facility. Gag…. Ugh grin and bare it.

I had to buy some new clothes, have only wore slippers for 12 mths like most people. My other shoes had it. The rest all packed away.

Wonderful isn’t it… We also have moss growing in my bedroom…

The ombudsmen have at least emailed me back. The company coming out come the 11th May for more tests…

This month ahead is gonna be busy. But I have the most amazing people around me. For that I am very very grateful. They know who they are.

I don’t talk much, I don’t post much. I hide in my work and my worlds.

If you hide in other people’s worlds and enjoy it, review those authors. Tell them you love their work and why.

If you don’t love it, and want to hit that 1 or 2 star button, hold off, that person might just be at the end of their tether. A little kindness or just not posting goes a long long way.

Love ya all 💕