New Release – Electric Blue

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Electric Blue is a poetry collection scheduled for release in June 2017. It will be on Kindle, as most things are these days, but the paperback is by far more interesting. It will be a limited edition of 50 or 100 copies, printed, bound and numbered by me. The printing will be carried out entirely in blue ink at a local micropress, Rabbits Road Press. I intend to use a bold repertoire of fonts to maintain style and readability. Each book will be unique due to minor differences in the printing, binding and paper used. The imperfections of the process are part of its charm.

The poems themselves span over half of my life, from skewed, critical teenagehood to brain injury and beyond. Some of them are lyrics from an abandoned album. Certain motifs ñ birds, light, science fiction/fantasy ñ keep cropping up. Electric Blue explores some themes from the memoir But Iím Not Depressed, and can be read as its companion or alone.

Author Bio – Lia Rees

Lia Rees lives in London. She loves music, particularly prog rock, chillout and anything melancholy. Her ideal house involves plenty of books, attractive lamps and things made from coloured glass. Open-source culture and wild places excite her, and she has dabbled in the creative arts of jewellery making, crochet and T-shirt design.

Since 2005, she has been living with the psychological and cognitive effects of an acquired brain injury. Her first book, “But I’m Not Depressed”, uses a lyrical, honest writing style to convey the loss of language and personality itself, and her search for answers in a flawed medical system. She writes to bring readers into the surreal world of the survivor, and to save other survivors from the psychology trap. A follow-up book is planned on the effects of brain injury in high-IQ people.

Her “day job” involves creating book covers and videos for authors. She also has ambitions for a science fantasy trilogy and a concept album.

Graphic work: http://www.FreeYourWords.com
Premade book covers: http://www.CoverBliss.com
All my stuff: http://www.LiaRees.com
Book updates (mailing list): eepurl.com/cfq1cb

The Pro-Ana Movement – What the hell is going on?

This article is written by  Helen Butcher and she’s asked me to share it here to help bring awareness for this terrible illness, and the harm this can do to both sexes.

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Pro-Ana’ Movement – What On Earth Is Going On?

In a former life, I worked in mental health services. It was a job which wrenched my heart on a regular basis, and frequently made me very angry with the incompetency of society in general (and health service managers in particular [1]) when it came to mental health. But I never got frustrated with the patients themselves. Until, that is, I came across the ‘Pro-Ana’ phenomenon.

‘Pro-Ana’, if you’re not familiar with the term, is short for ‘Pro-Anorexia’. ‘Ana’, for some of the movement’s adherents, is a kind of goddess – a deified personification of weight loss and beauty. Her devotees willingly sacrifice their meals, their sanity, and (sadly) their lives in her service. The ‘Pro-Ana’ community offers its members ‘thinspiration’ over the internet, including extreme tips on calorie elimination, and advice on how to hide one’s eating disorder from friends and family.

This is where it gets weird. ‘Pro-Ana’ individuals are frequently all too well aware of the fact that they’re ill. They KNOW that they have an eating disorder, they KNOW that it’s making them miserable, and they KNOW that they are putting their health in extreme danger. This isn’t something unique to pro-anas. Many people with eating disorders know that something is wrong but nonetheless shy away from getting anorexia or bulimia treatment [2]. Pro anas, however, wear their disease as a badge of honor [3]. They are proud of their illness, and will do all that they can to advance it. Pictures are posted on forums of jutting clavicles, stick-thin thighs, hollow cheeks, and drumskin bellies. These pictures are in turn torn to pieces by the frequently vicious community, who pick out imagined imperfections and exhort the posters to go to even more dangerous dietary extremes.

Which brings me back to my frustrations.

I could kind of understand the Pro-Ana movement. If I worked at it, I could frame it as a method of coping for mentally ill people – a way of presenting their illness to themselves in a manner which meant that they did not have to feel weak and humiliated by it. While I did not necessarily approve of the method, I understood the motive, and could assimilate it into my non-judgemental view of their illness as a symptom. Indeed, some ostensibly Pro-Ana sites do come from more of a ‘moral support’ angle than an ‘encouraging anorexia’ angle – and that’s kind of laudable when done properly [4]. Where I fell down, however, was on the treatment meted out to other sufferers within the community. Eating disorders are dangerous enough on their own. Many of the eating disorder patients I saw had horrendous trouble drowning out the repetitive thought-cycles in their own heads, which poured scorn and loathing upon them. To have this internal chorus reinforced by the sufferer’s contemporaries on the internet put a lot of my patients in very real danger of death.

I remember one patient in particular – let’s call her ‘Sally’. At the age of sixteen, when Sally should have been studying for her GCSEs, she was instead going back and forth between mental health units, hospital, and her family home. She had anorexia, and – as is so often, sadly, the case – it had not become apparent to her loved ones until her extreme weight loss became noticeable. Generally, by this point the disease has quite a hold upon the patient. This was certainly the case with Sally. However, while in our mental health unit, Sally displayed a willingness to recover which was unusual in anorexia patients. She made determined efforts to eat, and participated to her fullest capacity in our therapies. This gave us a lot of hope. With this kind of attitude, there was no reason why she could not make a full recovery and live a long and happy life. Yet every time she was discharged, she was hospitalised and then sent back to us within months.

What on earth was going on?

Basically, every time Sally was discharged, she’d head straight online. She was seeking support from those who were experiencing the same kind of thing as she was – perhaps tips on how to get healthy. But what she found was her own disease, given voice and writ large across the internet. Her efforts to defeat anorexia were screamed down with extreme vitriol, her body derided as fat and unattractive, her whole life picked apart by the community she thought would help her. Yet she kept on going back. Someone that deep into self-loathing will do anything to gain a sense of ‘tribe’ – even if their chosen ‘tribe’ is almost literally destroying them from the inside out.

Needless to say, I was horrified at the extent of the damage fellow sufferers can willfully inflict upon one another [5].

Sally’s story has a reasonably happy ending. Once her parents discovered what was going on, they began to monitor her internet usage closely, and sent her to a therapist who specialises in helping young adults have a healthier relationship with social media. Sally is on the road to recovery – although it’s likely to be a long journey for her, and the years of anorexia have taken an undoubted toll on her health.

For the hundreds of eating disorder sufferers who get lured into these Pro-Ana forums, however, it may well be a very different story. And that troubles me. It troubles me greatly.

[1] Daniel Boffey, “Leaked report reveals scale of crisis in England’s mental health services”, The Guardian, Feb 2016

[2] Bulimia, “Bulimia Treatment”

[3] Sarah Rainey, “Secretly Starving”, The Telegraph, 2013

[4] Mandie Williams, “Unpopular Opinion: Pro-Ana Websites Were A Positive Influence In Helping Me Recover From My Eating Disorder”, XOJane, Apr 2014

[5] Geraldine McKelvie, “Revealed: Scots student tells how he starved himself to the brink of death after being bullied by anorexia trolls”, Daily Record, Aug 2013

A sad day ~ hugs

Today we’re heading over to Whales for a Family Funeral. It has been a long hard month with loads of other complications, and life niggles, as it usually happens, always in 3’s or 6’s for us. But it’s especially hard over the holidays and in naturally the hardest month of the year. Today might be difficult for everyone, but it will be good to remember things and of course put other things to rest.

Families can be one of the hardest things to have around you, or not around you. It doesn’t mean you aren’t family though or that they don’t cross your mind.

So, on that note, hug everyone close to you, tell them you love them and remember all the good things about everyone who was and is close.

x x x

Bathroom undone :(

So yeah this one is what’s kept me from a nice weeks relaxing holiday with the other half.

During the driveway dig, and this year, our builder said there was a smell in the bathroom, which there was, which seemed to get worse after having a bath/shower.

So this weeks job was just to take out the bath and find out what was going on under there.

What we discovered was more than a nightmare. The sink waste pipe hadn’t been connected to the toilet, and basically there’s been human waste dripping out the hole. The underneath of the house, had 3 inch of soil water and yeah, well you get the picture.

All the joists were rotten through, and because there was so much under there, it all had to come out, the whole floor, the tiles, everything, that meant the tiles on the walls that cracked came off, and of course because it’s an old house, the plaster came off too.

So we gutted it. Top to bottom and we’re starting again.

Poor hubby hasn’t had a day off, I’ve been running about like a loon for them, and for my own stuff.

Back to work tomorrow, and I’m happy because I’ve had complaints as usual. But, it will make this next week even harder.

Sigh.