Friday, broken wing and editing :)

Hey guys/gals 

 

I’ve been having a tough few weeks that’s for sure, but some things are improving. Getting slight better movement in my arm. Still taking pain killers and they kind of numb the head, but it’s been 3 full weeks now since the incident. I do feel like I’m improving now. So hopeful 🙂

Anyway, I wanted to let you in on my novel’s first page. 

Over the last few months, I’ve been working very, very hard with EJ Runyon. She’s been so valuable as a coach and editor. I’ve found prose writing totally different than scripts. Where a script is so terse prose is enriched and alive. I’ve had a brilliant few months, it’s been one heck of a learning experience. And EJ will be my coach/editor for a long time. When you find someone who is good, you don’t let them go. Her way of explaining things is spot on, I’ve never had that, from English Teachers or professional I’ve wanted to hire before. (I know I’m not the easiest client, I’ve bad habits like the best of of us, but I’m trying…) 

Her blog is at – http://ejrunyon.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/structuring-sentences-to-use-more-showing/

and her coaching website is over at -http://bridgetostory.com

 

Please contact her if you’ve ever considered editing or coaching, as an author you’ll not regret it. : ) promise. 

 

And here is the first page of my novel. Un-edited. And edited, (but not final) still needs proofing and checking 100%. 

I wanted you to all see the difference a few months makes. The writing journey. This has had a good few crits over at the OWWSFF. website address is – http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/index.shtml

My story attracted an Editors Choice review (middle edit) which was wonderful. And gave me total hope for the series. The reviews there really helped shape the story too.

Then I had the honour of winning a years membership over at http://www.scribophile.com which again has been one of the best sites I’ve ever come across. And helped take my novel to the next level. I also met a fantastic writer who has helped me to know end. I have no doubts I’ll be promoting his book here one day soon too. 🙂 so watch this space. 

So here it is… 

The Secret King – The Beginning 

 

From this….. 

 

Kendro eased himself into his favorite chair. It creaked just as it always did and he wished he could take it with him. His office, empty, didn’t resemble home anymore. Sadness washed over him. It was over and they had to leave everything but their prized possessions behind.

   The handmade wooden desk before him had been in his family for generations and he ran his hand along its surface until he found a tiny dent. He frowned and remembered the day he’d made that hole. The day Admiral Broki confirmed the fate of their Sun and he’d dropped a hot steaming mug of tea over everything. Now apart from the desk and set of chairs nothing else cluttered the room. All his belongings had been moved to the mother- ship. The furniture here deemed unimportant. Although why he’d deemed it unimportant shook him. These objects were a part of his history.

Resting his head in his arms, he closed his eyes just for a brief moment of thought. Were they going to survive the incredible journey ahead?

To this – 

CHAPTER ONE – Evacuation

Kendro moved nearer his office window, once again watching their dying sun, setting for the night. Too tired even to think — three days too tired. Rubbing his eyes, he stroked down the sides of his temple, a blue tingle of energy from his fingers lit his royal birthmark in a glorious rainbow of colours.

Three tiers up in the royal palace, he glanced down at the view below him, just making out the soldiers as they loaded his belongings onto shuttles in the growing twilight. The sight added a depression that weighted his soul. He turned, regarding his empty office, stripped of everything but the desk and its chair. Best to do what work I can before they come for these too.

Work didn’t come for him. He stared at the portable screen, blank. “You think you’ve won.” with a headshake, wiping away tears with the back of his hand, Kendro flung his keyboard into a corner where it shattered. “Never!”

Resting his head, Kendro rested for a brief moment. His breathing slowed, he shook himself awake. For almost three days now; with barely any sleep since he ordered the evacuation; within every tightening muscle and sinew, Kendro felt the strain.

“Kendro?”

His attention turned to his wife, Mika. Her face sparkled as she stepped lightly over the wreckage of the smashed keyboard reaching his side; a look of anxiety quickened her stride.

 

———————–

 

Different, yes, better. I totally believe so 🙂 

 

So, if you’re looking for someone to help push you that bit further, check out all of the above 🙂 You will not be disappointed. 

 

Dawn x 

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First go at dictation :)

Never tried dictation before so let’s see if this works out okay. Been a crap day went to the doctors for pain relief and anti-sickness medication. The doctor was very nice, felt sorry for me and laughed because it happened Friday the 13th. I have been signed off work for a while eek, this is quite difficult for me because wages and money will be very tight. But as usual in life we take it our stride and continue onwards.

We agreed it was not the pain medication which was making me feel safe, it is in fact the pain. And so keep going as I’m doing take pills every four hours with the anti-sickness and hopefully feel better. It seems to have made a difference this afternoon.

Paul has gone to work now, won’t be home till gone midnight, and so I am home alone with Bobby and the cat. Of which I don’t mind their company is nice. A movie and some pottering about. Facebook is quite addictive when you’re at home all day.

Here is Bobby keeping me company, isn’t he just adorable 🙂 I love him to bits.

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Abuse :(

I don’t really want to post too much about this. But seeing I had an ‘incident’ at work. It has sort of left me just feeling weird. 

 

Everyone wonders how they’ll react in certain situations. A girl surrounded by a bunch of guys, you know that sort of story… 

 

Well I found myself in one that I hope never happens again. 

 

It went like this. 

 

Stopping my butty van at a paticular stop, I had a couple of my regular guys come over to buy their dinner. Nothing wrong with that. 

 

Then two others came across that I didn’t know. Someone drove past and simply said ‘I’ll give the first one to plant her on the lips fifty quid’ 

 

I didn’t expect anyone to jump at me, but that is what happened. I did fight the guy, but ended up hurting my neck in the process. 

 

Next time, I should just ‘plant a head butt’ and not worry about the ‘assault’ being on my end. Better the other party be injured than me. 

 

To be really honest, it left me shaken and upset. I didn’t know the guy, but what makes people react like that. You get a bunch of people together and somehow it ends up being something it shouldn’t. 

 

I’ve not had the mindset to do any editing today. I’ve emailed E.J the edits I’ve done so that at least we have something to look over and see how I’ve done tomorrow. 

 

So, I’m going to leave you with a few questions…

What would you do in that situation?

How do you think you might react?

What do you think I could do to protect myself in future? 

 

Have a good evening all. 

 

D x x 

 

Nano wash out :(

So the week has gone really well so far. Passed the 20k, but we went out on Friday and I only managed about 500 words.

Sat morning and I had all the good intentions of doing loads, but went shopping with mum. I got half way around Tesco and couldn’t carry on. I felt physically sick, in mega pain.

Somehow on the Thursday I managed to injure my foot. I am in agony. So yesterday off I went to the hospital where a very nice man told me I’d injured the soft pad, badly bumped it. And I needed rest and no walking. It could possibly take a few weeks to get better.

Yeah, great, I drive for a living. How am I supposed to rest it?

Anyway, yesterday was spent pretty much feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t have the words inside my head to come out. So, instead I spent it character organizing. Something which when you work in such a vast world like mine that is very important.

Not only are there 13 Episodes, but there is a novel already written, a full history and biography of the planet, their customs and beliefs and character biographies, (for the important ones) a large document full of information, that we need.
It gets pretty darn complicated. Loads of names to remember, even if they’re just passing characters, (which I do try not to name) but its a big job and a big document to keep on top of. You forget to add one character detail and it changes throughout the story, then you have major continuity issues. Not good.

I have to keep everything organized, because of the other people I work with. My original writing partner, helped create some of these amazing characters in episodes that he wrote and that I edited, and vice versa. But to work in the same world we need solid rules and characters, and it all needs to be in one easy place so we can find them quickly. Good job I do like being organized.

There is however, a wonderful animator who has also just started to help us out, by breathing life into the characters and ‘creating’ visual images. This is a totally new concept that I have only just started to work with him on, and it has blown my mind away.

So, at least that is one thing out of the way.

I have a day of pain and doing nothing, the family is off to the local car boot sale, and I can’t go. 😦

I also have the dilemma of work, what do I do, ask for assistance? Ughhhh sucks isn’t the right word. There is no flexibility in any job anymore. A sick day is just that, but you try taking one. Heaven forbid.

Going to be a long, long week.

Onwards with the word count, I am going to try for 25k today.

D x x