23/06/11

A synopsis review from Circalit.

I didn’t know what to send in,  and only had a very short synopsis from TSK, so  I used that or I would have lost the review.

Here is what was said on the short synopsis of…..

For many years since their arrival on Earth, the Aonise have forged a tense peace treaty with humanity, living in the ghettos of their city as rival clans. Yet when a terrorist’s virus designed to eliminate them spreads to humans instead, Taliri, the son of the last Aonise king, is forced out of hiding to end the crisis. He must now unite his fractured people and try to prevent an all-out war.

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Logline

This log line neatly summarises the central premise of the script, as well as introducing the reader to the wider implications of Taliri’s battle. Although this would be suitable to use for script reports which need to succinctly summarise the series (perhaps when a company have already read the project and it is being sent onto other collaborators/executives) it does not sell the project. It is fairly routine and does not indicate to the reader that there is anything to make this script stand out from others of the same genre. I would also advise that the central character, Taliri, is mentioned and there is a comment on the cohabitation of humans and Aonise on planet Earth.

Synopsis

Obviously this is a much shorter summary than would normally be expected on a full script report. Taking the time to properly summarise the script would be a worth-while task as a well-executed synopsis can be instrumental in promoting a project. It will be important that the writer puts his voice into this, and that the reader is able to gain some insight into his writing style, as well as his ability to articulately summarise the project giving them a good understanding of the plot and inspiring to read it in its entirety as well as considering the series.

The writer introduces the alien race and their relationship with the humans on planet Earth however it would be worthwhile considering a visual description to help the reader engage with the script. We have no way of knowing what sets the Aonise apart from the humans, how they live, what they look like and this information would go some way to answer some of the other questions regarding their relationship with humanity. Again we are told that the Aonise are living in the ghettos of human civilisation and this instantly demarks them as the inferior race. What would be interesting would be to know how they came to accept this situation and why they are resigned to living on the fringes of society. The conflict between humans and Aonise underpins the entirety of the drama and without some information regarding how this fragile cease-fire came to be the reader is left alienated from the action and fails to engage with the story. In a similar vein it would be worthwhile including some information about the virus that inspires Taliri to reach out to the human community. This catalyst has enormous implications and the reader needs to know what inspires these changes.

In conclusion the writer should consider composing a longer synopsis which would enable the log line to be more of a selling point. The synopsis should echo the style in which the script is written, giving details about the episode and perhaps even information about how the series will progress. The writer may wish to include some form of an episode breakdown, an indication to series length and over riding story-arcs. He should also consider including some form of character description, both physically and mentally, in order to engage the reader.

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It was still really helpful.

D

Feeding fry

June 23rd 6:59pm

So been back down to Holmeswood today to get some more food.

Barry is always full of such good advice. A tip he gave me to see how the fry were doing, was to pop them in a glass and see if their tummy’s were full.

I did this when I got home. Fry in the bowl had brown belly’s but some of the ones in the qt didn’t. So I need to up my feeding in the qt, to keep them growing.

I also think I’ve lost some, quite a few dead ones about today. :( but the others are doing well, still in the hundreds. Natures way of dealing with things I guess. So I put some more in the bowl to see if they do better in there. Fingers crossed.

Also bought some dried blood worm, which Barry said to grind add a bit of water to and then feed them. Putting in a few drops of sansai as well. Still got some brine shrimp eggs, but don’t think they will last much longer.

How is everyone elses, and how much are you feeding?

Dawn

June 26th 4:22pm

Fry and Blanketweed

Hey everyone, could do with some real advice here. Getting a bit worried about the baby fry and all this blanket weed. It has started to overtake everything. I doubt very much I could turn my filter on with it as it is because it would just clog the pump…. tried to remove some today but some of the fry are stuck in it.

Can I treat it at all? Would the fry die? Or is my only option to try and sieve all the babies out and scrub it clean to start again?

Just think that there isn’t as many in there as there was, and I don’t think the blanket weed over growth is helping them at all. They are growing though which is a bonus, and mum has made my fry net, so I can separate them. Just don’t want the blanket weed clogging that up either or I’ll just have one very stagnant pool of water and most likely dead fry!

Any ideas, please let me know.

Thanks

Dawn

June 28th 8:02pm

The net is made, piping in so we can secure it to the sides, smaller than I wanted, but need room to move pipes under etc. Don’t think we’re going to drain the qt just yet. Will see how it goes over the next few days. As for the filter not sure yet, its a massive pump and trickle tower….

Will keep you updated, don’t think there are many losses in the blanket weed looks like it might be fly thingys in there, not fry…

speak soon.

Dawn

Net and Baby Fail

June 29th 7:50pm

So we tried the net today and fail, I watched several fry swim through it! So defo no good, they are still too small.

They will have to get on with the blanket weed and water changes. till they are a lot older. Bummer. Won’t have as many left I can assure you.

Sucks!

Speak soon.

Dawn BangH BangH BangH BangH

June 30th 5:49pm

so I think we have another plan. There is an outlet pipe over half way down. I am going to see if we can turn this and work it so that I can add a valve and a tap or something so I can then drain the water into a sieve and back into the qt, with no pump. Will be much easier on the babies no chomped by a whirling blade.

:) bonus…

Dawn

We have fry!

Mon June 13th 5:21pm

Hey everyone, we have fry in the qt today, tiny little things aren’t they.

But our Nitrite has gone through the roof. I’ve spent half an hour emptying water through the pump, with a sieve trying my best to save some. But I don’t think I can. Putting in fresh water now, will have to run it all night. I’ve never seen a spike like that before. :( I think they’re all going to die…. devil+

No sign of any fry in the bowl yet, so did a small water change on that as well to be safe.

Fingers crossed hey.

But we have fry…. :) I’m still happy really.

Dawn

June 16th 6:55pm

well the fry in the qt are still going strong. :D took out one of the ropes from the blue bowl don’t think anything if much has survived in there, but shame there was thousands. i’m going to try and see if anything swimming around tomorrow and sieve them into the qt.

nitrite is coming down, thankfully.

On the other side of things big boy aint doing so good again, he’s head hanging, which is worrying. going to catch him on sat and salt bath him if no improvment.

Sansai’d the pond and water quality is coming back to normal. turned pond heater up as well. fingers crossed hey.

D

We have eggs!

June 7th 5:56am

But I can’t do anything with them!

They’re still at it this morning. And I have to go to work.

I think they’ll all be gone by the time I get home.

Dawn

3:51pm

I never knew there would be SO many….

The brushes are littered with them, they are all up the sides of the QT vat, and all over the pumps, litterlly thousands, amazing.

Put the brushes in our big blue bowl for now with an air stone. Not sure what to do with them all in the Vat, because if we leave the fish in there, they’ll just get eaten and OH I DON’T KNOW what to do for the best…..

The water does smellll though, so doing a water change now. Prob lose a million eggs then…. Maybe we’ll get a few to survive… Just won’t know what to feed them when they do hatch :(

Don’t know how to feel at the mo, wiped out ! First day back in work wasn’t a happy one.

Speak to you laters.

Paul gone for the machalite green and for some Eco pure for the main pond its a mucky brown today, awful colour. Need to get that wired back up asap I think

Dawn

Wed 8th June 5:58am

Heya

Decided to dose the Qt vat today with Machalite as well as the eggs in the bowl. Just a half dose for now, will help the parents as well as if the eggs hatch. But I think they’ll defo get eaten then.

Not too happy about the mucky brown of the main pond. Dosed with Eco Pure today to see if that helps. I don’t think its blanket weed, just seems to be brown sludge on the sides. :( Hope it clears soon, can’t see any of the fish in it.

Temp in the qt is still 21, and its 17.6 in the house bowl :)

Off out scuba diving tonight, will have to catch you all later.

Dawn

June 9th 4:18pm

So eggs white or clear!

I have no idea what this means, are some fertile and the others aren’t? I just don’t know, but they are the same in the qt and in the bowl. What the heck am I going to do in a 30 gallon bowl if hundreds of fry hatch….. I have to get the parents out the qt NOW!!!! moving one today. Even though the main pond is yuky brown. I don’t care

To be honest, I’m really shocked at the tiny fish that my mum shiro is. WOW was she so full of eggs…. she was huge, not she is skinny! weird.

Will chat to you all later, just wanted to keep you posted.

Oh done a small water change today, 1 bucket full…. for fresh. Got to help.

Dawn

Fri 10th June 5:27

So eggs white or clear!

I have no idea what this means, are some fertile and the others aren’t? I just don’t know, but they are the same in the qt and in the bowl. What the heck am I going to do in a 30 gallon bowl if hundreds of fry hatch….. I have to get the parents out the qt NOW!!!! moving one today. Even though the main pond is yuky brown. I don’t care

To be honest, I’m really shocked at the tiny fish that my mum shiro is. WOW was she so full of eggs…. she was huge, not she is skinny! weird.

Will chat to you all later, just wanted to keep you posted.

Oh done a small water change today, 1 bucket full…. for fresh. Got to help.

Dawn

Sat June 11th 7:54pm

No, couldn’t move the parents today. Did water testing this morning and ph of pond was 9 qt tank is 7.5. Did a major water change on main pond but it didn’t alter the ph at all. We had these issues the first month we set up our pond and couldn’t work out what was going on with it, the water is murky brown everything in it is dead. :( nothing alive is in there. Put in extra bacteria last week, put some more in today, and have some for next week.

What I decided to do instead of pumping dead water with loads of floating bits into the qt was to buy some ph increaser and up the level today and tomorrow morning, maybe even a little more tomorrow night if I have to.

Tested ph after adding the stuff and it was 8, so will increase a little more tomorrow, then do a water change and add eggs in tomorrow night. Paul doesn’t want to he wants to keep them in the house where it is warm, but I don’t think once they hatch I’ll be able to keep them, not enough water. So I’ve got to move them. Might even add in a little vat water to the bowl in the morning.

Managed to track down some ‘live food’ after visiting every pet shop around locally. Put them outside in a murky tub of water, who knows if I’ll have enough. But there was also some other alternatives.

Been to Holmeswood Koi today to see their babies, wow in 10 days they are massive. Kohaku and Showa, and you can really see the colours coming through, also the deformities. Amazing. I really have everything crossed for some to hatch. :) Mr M would be welcome to some 3some 3some 3some 3some

Also took a good look at big boy today. You would not believe the difference in him in 5 weeks. Where as his markings were black now he is almost white. Lovely colour, still a little pink… but that has really gone down even with adding in Machalite green and today the ph up moved .5

Babies in the bowl have BIG eyes now… so cute. I really want some to hatch… I do….

Fingers crossed…. and thanks for all the support, couldn’t do it without you guys. x x x

Dawn

Sun 6:32 pm

Big Boy, mummy and my ghosty went back in the main pond today. Not very happy about the ph level, don’t know why it is so high. 9…. and with a slight nitrite spike. Even bought a bottle of ph decreaser, for £17 put the whole bottle in and it didn’t do much… Got the ph of the qt up to almost the same colour, so there shouldn’t have been too much of a shock. But you could feel the difference of the water, kinda slimy.

I did a massive water change today as well, but it was still high, think it will take a while to settle back down again. We had all this with the pond the first time. :(

Anyway, going to water change the qt tomorrow, get the ph level down again, and then hopefully when the fry hatch I can put them in there, they’ll have to get on with the water temp changes between night and day.

Will report on the progress anyway.

Weather is really crap, rain and cold. :(

D