Lost

Sometimes all I want to do is write, to let my pain hit paper.
Sometimes all I want to do is cry, and let my tears flood over.

There’s so much hurt and fear inside, jut once I wish I could live, as I have tried.

No more pain, no more fear and no more lonely words.

My eyes fill with tears, as I put on this face.
I know it’s sad, and bad, but I can’t stand the pace.

I lie, I cheat, even though I know it’s wrong.
I really can’t cope , I’m just not that strong.

All I get is confusion, surrounded by noise, suffering illusion’s
Sometimes I feel I’ll never be found, destined to stay in this deep dark cloud.

I ask, “Why am I here?”
No one loves me, no one needs me, so who on Earth would miss me.

Takes time to heal all wounds they say.
This pain I know won’t go away.
My heart cries out, my soul aches.

And I shout “WHY ME?”
I feel disgusting, I feel a freak.
My minds a mess. My body so weak.

I wish so much it would go away.
I wish that I could heal one day.

Dawn Chapman May 2001