18/08/04

Hi everyone

Sad day for me today,

Nans results were bad, the doctor said she does have a form of cancer and she needs to go into have a biopsy and removal of it on the 7th september, we dont know yet how bad the cancer is as we have to wait for the results of the biopsy when that is done, it is a relief to know, but am real sad now, at the thought I actually may lose my nan sometime soon, we did have a good laugh at some things today, like her will she reckoned we’d get our money sooner and at hopefully I will still be able to live in her house this year as it wouldnt sell that quick, but inside I my stomach is churning at everything, I know I would always have somewhere to go but I dont ever want to live with my mum and I know nan will have left me some money in her will, but I am so scared of the future is that wrong?

 

My mum made us some dinner today and I did not want it, was just a little chiken salad, but I felt so sick I had to force it down and I know I cant face tea tonight,

 

I had such a good night last night at the pictures I felt so normal, Paul and I went to a chinese restaurant that turend out to be an all you can eat bufett thingy, I managed a starter and a main course, although small plates but i had some pudding to, I didnt feel bad it felt great and I robot was amazing,

 

I am just so sad, I dont know what else to say,

 

Hope you are all ok,

Love and hugs to you all always

Dawn

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