16/08/04

 

Hi everyone, took nan to hospital today, for chat with surgeon, didnt end up as chat,

He did ultra sound and was very concerned as both her kidneys were nearly blocked, he needed to do blood tests, and then wanted her to go for a ct scan as well.

everyone in the place was going mad as she was getting pushed to the front of all the cues in the end I lost it with one woman ans said well maybe my nan has a little somethign you dont have,

She has to go back wed for results of tests done, if kidneys are too bad then they have to drain them before they can do a biopsy next week, with camera in as well to see extent of growth, they know something is there, just not what.

 

I was so scared today for her, and so scared watching my mum with her, my mum worrying over me to and I feel so stupid, so pathetic for being stuck within my own silly world.

 

Like I dont matter like ed is just so F****** stupid ed.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I HATE YOU

 

AND I DO NOT  HATE ME ANYMORE I AM WORTH MORE THAN THIS.

And I love everyone here so much

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