I didn’t think I’d do it all in one day. Please no one read all the posts lol… there are a lot. There are a lot which aren’t nice to read, because of their content.

I was much younger, my grammar and spelling is awful. I was tempted to spell check and read every post, but in the end I choose not too. Mostly because that is how I blogged at the time, in my deepest darkest moments, when thinking about SI and my ED I think spelling etc was the last thing on my mind.

So it is done. I only have one more place to grab posts from, more about my koi than the other stuff.

Onwards to an interesting year. I will continue to blog now. And I can put the facebook thingy back on, I didn’t know it was posting straight there this morning. My page was inundated lol.

Catch you all soon, getting an early night as back to work in the morning. Boring!!!!!! don’t want to go, I really don’t.

Someone come and save me and BUY some scripts.

Speak soon


A hard task, but a good one.(I think)


So chatting to a few friends last night made me think about doing this, and seeing as I am awake and the rest of the house isn’t. I am going to start this Mammoth Task.

What am I going to do? you say.

Well I am about to transfer my whole history from groups across the  internet that I helped with and had help from over the last 12 years or so.

A lot of it was deleted, because MSN and their groups went away with the fairies. But, I kept everything, like the hoarder that I am. I still have real diaries, (ones you wrote in) from the age of 10 upwards. So this  is my whole online  journal,  a very long connecting one, with all its trials and tribulations, hopes and dreams.

If anyone ever reads through it all, it will be a miracle. But the sites I was on, I had lots of friends and supporters. There are still a lot of them around today, but sadly there were some losses. Eating Disorders are like that, and I lost some very very good friends. (RIP) 😦

Maybe one day I might make a coherent film about it. At present it is what it is, a complicated inner sanctum of turmoil, highs and lows, picking up my feet and finally realizing that recovers is possible and staying safe and happy is more important than any other issues.

Onwards, and lets see how much I get done today.