Tag Archives: Eating Disorders

Aug 28 2013

Grumpy hump day

It’s been one of those days today. I am glad I am not in work for the one reason that I don’t think I could have been around that food today. I’ve still carried on, don’t get me wrong, but some things have been at the forefront of my mind. 

Telling my mum today about Jay’s loss was sad, as she turned around and said ‘it could have been you.’ and I know she is right. ED can take anyone of us at anytime. It is such a strain on the body we really put our lives at risk. 

 

I’ve tried not to let it get me down too much today, but all the years I knew Jay, (although the last few were mostly more down to just facebook) than the forums or chat rooms where I first met her, I am still sad. 

 

We’re going out this evening, orange Wed, so a nice meal and the cinema it is. I hadn’t wanted to go anywhere this morning, but I do now. 

 

Writing wise, eeek. I’ve a skype tomorrow with EJ, and I’ve not done a huge amount. With being away for the weekend and catching up with jobs at home, I have to knuckle down tomorrow and get some done. 

 

Will catch you soon, and for anyone visiting who knew Jay, say hello, I won’t mind. It’s good to talk. As that’s how I met her in the first place. 

 

D

Aug 27 2013

RIP Hunnie….

Jay Taylor, a beautiful friend. Taken far too early.

 

For those who know me a little bit, and for those who don’t know me… 

I suffered with Anorexia and Bulimia for 16 years. I’ve been in recovery for 4, and a very hard fight to get to where I am. 

Today I lost a wonderful friend to the terrible illness, a friend who picked me up, laughed with me and cared for me, when she was suffering as much as I was. (i know that some people know nothing about these illnesses

This is my blog, but this is a place where people pop in from all over the world. They come and I hope they learn something too. Maybe you’ve known someone, or do know someone, or may in the future. 

RIP hunnie, your fight was a tough one, you fought your best. With God there will be no more pain. 

Love to everyone out there, suffering and to those lives you touched, for you sure touched mine. 

Mar 30 2013

Sat….

General 🙂

 

Today I have to wait in for the sky man. Our dish broke so it needs fixing properly. 🙂 So having done all my running about yesterday I have the full day to edit, read, and relax. We’re also going out later to my dads. Which will be nice. 

 

I’ve not posted too much this week because I’ve felt personally drained. And it’s just been one of those really bad weeks which I’d sooner forget about. 

 

There is no chance of me getting the 12th off work for my Uncles funeral. So I also have to deal with that. One of the biggest problems in working for a small firm is there is no cover. Shame, really. Just fingers crossed I can turn this crappy blip around and get back to something normal. Sleep and food just went right out the window. 😦 

 

A break is a nice thing though and with the other half having lots of overtime I’ve finally been able to get some of the things we’ve been lacking of over the last month. With some luck this is a good sign and it looks like he might be working full time again soon. 

 

I don’t begrudge him anything. He’s worked so hard in all the years I’ve known him. But when a job becomes more than a job and something you are just doing because you’re forced too it really is time to move. Fate has played some pretty crappy jokes on us in the last 4 years. It’s also given us a good couple of ‘get’ out clauses too and I think that they were for the best. 

 

—————————-

 

Koi

 

Well temps have been so low recently my heater is going ten fold on the main pond to attempt to keep it warm. I don’t think this winter is doing any of our koi any favours. 

 

We’ve also turned the heater back on the baby tank to see if the ‘cooking’ episode was indeed a one off. It seems to be working as normal now. ummmm I’m puzzled by this even more so with recent ‘things’ going on around here. But, lets leave that, at that. 

 

I did treat the baby tank with blanket weed killer yesterday. Holmeswood have lots of new products in. Which I’ll try… 🙂 So I have no doubt that it’s dying off now. At least the babies will have free movment in few days. It’s like 6ft long in there… and I have no doubts it will block everything up again, so will have to keep an eye on it. 

 

They had some lovely new koi in the shop… A cracking little Tancho Doitsu something… and he’s also got some big Hajiro 🙂 They’re amazing. And they look just like my nisai 🙂 hopefully mine will get much bigger soon. I want them to grow more. They’ll be going in the big pond in the next month. 

 

————————

 

Writing. 

 

Waiting on some reviews to come in at the end of this month. Then I can think about things and move forward. Editing is going well to be fair. I’m pleased with my own progress either way. So onwards with the day. 

 

Have a good one. And speak soon. 

 

Dawn 

Mar 26 2013

I remember this….. :(

Dear all…

 

I do remember feeling like this from 2006-07 and I remember what it did to me.

 

Words in my head are not good at the moment. Words are unrepeatable. The whole ‘death’ thing and stress I just can’t seem to cope well at all with. Really really not well at all.

 

Work is not helping. And that isn’t because I don’t enjoy it. I love my customers and the guys in the job aren’t too bad. They make the day bearable. But it’s the FOOD!!!!

 

I want to literally squark my eyes out. I ate the middle part of a cheese and onion pie and my inner voice is really screaming at me. I had a cup of coffee and I’ve since been sick. I’ve not been sick because I’ve felt so bad for 4 years!

 

😥

 

I just want to hide away and that isn’t going to do me any good. I was getting over the January blues and feeling crap. But now. I feel worse.

 

Sorry that’s all I have to say for today. I’ll keep posting and trying to work through it but at the moment. I’m not good.

 

D x x

Mar 21 2013

Wed tagging on Thurs :)

Ummm don’t know what happened there… I thought I posted it live. Guess I didn’t. Oops…

Wed….

I sometimes just don’t know where the time goes. This weeks flying by…. eeek.

Problems this morning with my script registrations. So had to sort that out. Funny isn’t it that almost 12 mths ago and they’ve lost my card payment details. Good job Paypal is so organised.

Work, work, work. And it’s been so busy… Can’t wait for next week when we get four days off for Easter 🙂 Yippie… I’ll get some time to catch up on things before the end of the month.

I’ve done as much editing as I can. Almost to the end of Chap 5 now. 🙂 It’s really bad when you’ve taken some time off from the piece and only been concentrating on the beginning. When you actually do move forward, you are thrown back into the world you created with a new vision. It’s brilliant. Thank you E.J. Runyon 🙂

Just been out for a small drink with the other half. Time to relax and a chippy tea… (sod the weight thing… lol.

 

——————————-

 

Thurs

 

What a storming day I’ve had at work. Settling in now. Need to crack on with Chap 5.

 

Catch you soon.

Dawn x x