Happy New Year – Onwards

I’ve kinda been putting off this sort of post, because the last two months have been so hard. As usual sometimes the only thing that keeps us going is the day to day normality of life, and the wonderful people around us.

But, there comes that time when you realise that sometimes it’s just not enough.

Christmas always brings with it reflection and makes you feel so much more, and this year has certainly not been the best.

As a moderator on some of the best groups on facebook one of the worst things with social media is finding out about an accident involving a loved one. This is something we’ve had to strive to fight off because it’s so easy to push that button and post a picture.

Then there’s this other side, that your lifes in a public setting and everyone and anyone can eventually find you. Yes, I get my fair share of stalkers too. Sometimes so many, and you get fed up of the Direct Messages, or naughty pictures ahah. Instant delete and block on facebook and twitter. Those internet sites will never change.

We were told through facebook over the holidays that my husbands brother had passed away. His estranged family contacted him through facebook. He doesn’t do facebook and it was a weird thing because I don’t often check out his profile. Moments after the message had been delivered, I got the same message through on ‘requests’ on my own page.

I don’t need to say anything, and I won’t. A life lost is a shame, and we’re in shock and mourning. Though once again it makes you realise that not everything is as it should be and that you need a kick up the backside to do something about it.

I won’t make any new years resolutions, I just plan on ‘doing’ I already spent my time over the holidays looking at new things to do with my life. There are some very good opportunities around my local area at the moment, and fingers crossed that will be one thing that will make some very nice changes for me, and my family.

So with a little luck on my side, and a positive attitude, I am looking forward to 2017 and no matter what the next month brings. Will deal with it the best way I can.

I remember this….. :(

Dear all…

 

I do remember feeling like this from 2006-07 and I remember what it did to me.

 

Words in my head are not good at the moment. Words are unrepeatable. The whole ‘death’ thing and stress I just can’t seem to cope well at all with. Really really not well at all.

 

Work is not helping. And that isn’t because I don’t enjoy it. I love my customers and the guys in the job aren’t too bad. They make the day bearable. But it’s the FOOD!!!!

 

I want to literally squark my eyes out. I ate the middle part of a cheese and onion pie and my inner voice is really screaming at me. I had a cup of coffee and I’ve since been sick. I’ve not been sick because I’ve felt so bad for 4 years!

 

😥

 

I just want to hide away and that isn’t going to do me any good. I was getting over the January blues and feeling crap. But now. I feel worse.

 

Sorry that’s all I have to say for today. I’ll keep posting and trying to work through it but at the moment. I’m not good.

 

D x x