Category Hope

Dec 5 2015

Building site!

So yeah that pretty much says it all. We’re living in a building site at the moment, as work on the house, started a week ahead of schedule. oopsie.

I had to give in early on nano because of all this planning, even though I made the 50k because I planned well, the novel isn’t finished and I’m so behind on everything. Oh well.

The back of our house.

Things have gone a lot better towards the end of this year, we’ve lots good happening, not just the publication of TSK or of Trent’s wonderful language book this month, but for us personally, my mum and the house.

We were going to move rooms, our living room used to be a bedroom and we were going to swap them back around. But, instead we decided to alter the structure of the house and make it better for us. That of course involves a good amount of cash, which we had, and some time away from stuff.

So, knocking through two rooms, putting in steel beams and redecorating in December isn’t a very good idea, but it’s the best time for us to do it, we’re not really xmas people… lol It’s hard on Bobby and us though, moving stuff, and just total upheaval.

Here’s some before, and during pics. I will of course, keep them posted as things are done, it’s really nice to have those memories to remember.

I’ve had a rough week at work, with different things going wrong, but now, I’ve a week to clean, sort things out, and catch up on lots of stuff I’ve neglected.

 

🙂

Oct 27 2015

2 week sickness but getting better :)

It’s been a tough few weeks, falling back in with a bad cold/infection again after my book launch and party. So for the whole last 14 days I’ve pretty much just barely managed to get out of bed, go to work and come home. I’ve let everything slide and I finally made the decision last weekend to stop taking on anymore ‘projects’ because I can’t do them. It was like a wave of everything and suddenly because I got ill I felt like I was drowning in them and would never get back on top.

So, I’ve pulled the plug on a few, and that will give me some time to ‘get better’ I’ve been so exhausted… and to catch up on those things I still need to finish.

Last week in itself was a bunch of meetings and paperwork on top of being sick… but now that things on that side are looking much better, I’m also feeling much better on a personal level.

There is a light at the end of the year, and we’re almost in November too! which means NanoWrimo 🙂 I wasn’t going to do anything and I still might not, but this one character hasn’t shut up all year. So who knows. I might crank her story out or I might leave it.

My muse rules though and if she kicks my butt, I’ll be writing. (she’s trying to,) but I’m still not 100% better, so I’m just playing it by ear for the weekend… honest.

Tonight I’ve caught up on some of the pile, I might be there by the weekend. 🙂

Anyone else doing nano? If you need a friend, I’m always around either way…

Good luck to those who are in.

Jun 1 2013

Weeks holiday : )

I’ve had a wonderful weeks holiday. Only been around the house and pottering about. Had lots of time to spend with Bobby. And lots of time to write.

Bobby is coming along in leaps and bounds, he’s had first blood. But, I’m actually really getting him used to me. He’s no longer scared. He’s eating well and I’m so happy for him. First vet visit on wed for him. Want to check out how his wings are and his feather condition. 🙂

 

Here’s a pic for you….

a runner bean

with a runner bean

 

I had booked extra time with EJ, which was very beneficial. I learned loads this week. And I’ve finalised my first two chapters. In regards to their pacing and style. Maybe some people still won’t like it, or think there is too much stuff to come before it. But I’m happy with it. I think it’s ‘near’ there. 🙂 You can never say perfect. As writers we’re always tweaking something or another. lol

The weather has been pretty hit and miss, it’s left the garden growing well. Because of the rain and the sunshine. And it’s left my main pond green and warm 🙂

My fish are even thinking of spawning today. So it just shows how much its changed in a week. 🙂

I am very happy to say there are no problems with them, where as there was for the most part of last year. No changes and fingers crossed that it’s a nice summer.

Last day off on my hols tomorrow, and I’m glad I’ve had the rest. I’m not overly looking forward to re-joining the rat race. But I’ll be happy to get back into things.

Mum flies to spain with Frank on Friday for a week, so we’re looking after their cat for a week, he’ll just want some food and cuddles in the evening. He’s a cute cat, so I don’t mind. I’ll just have to slot him in where the rest of my pets don’t demand attention.

So, onwards to tomorrow and hopefully I’ll speak to you soon.

Mar 4 2013

Monday :)

So the weekend was mostly spent in bed. Recuperating. Although I am still feeling a little full of cold. I do feel much better.

 

Wish I could take some time off work to really re-charge. But seems that they’re so snowed under they can’t. And they’ve still not advertised for the new position promised. That would help out their work/holiday load for sure. You can’t have 14 people working for you and only one person available to cover. The sums just don’t add up. When we all get 3 weeks holiday. And no one really wants to take them in the dead of winter now do they so out of the 52 weeks. Most really want there hols in the summer…

 

Oh well.

 

In other news. Treated the Koi again yesterday. Was a bit hairy towards the end. They started to sulk around the surface so I neutralized it this time and changed some water.

 

Couple of lunkers. The chemical reaction from the HP is quite strong. And they don’t like this as much as being treated with the PP.

 

Poor fish.

 

Will have to leave them for a week or so and see how they’re doing.

 

Writing wise. Finally got back into it yesterday. It is good to take some time off but hard to get back into the zone.

 

I am raring to get going some more though. Easter hols soon. This year it comes early at the end of the month. So looking forward to it. I’m physically and mentally exhausted. 😦 and I know that is why I get sick easily. Plus the ED never helped lower immune system.

 

Fingers crossed that this month starts to pick up. Mortgage adviser should get back to us with some info. And I’m hopeful for our future.

 

Fingers crossed for me everyone.

Feb 23 2013

Stress and ED

So this last couple of weeks have been the utmost stressful. ( I am staying positive) honest…. 🙂

I wanted to reflect this morning while I had time on that. So here I go. Apologies to anyone stressing out at the moment. But these thoughts are sort of sticking out at the moment. And need to be ‘gotten rid of’ I can process my ED brain much easier with writing, than I can inside my own head.

So verbal splurge here I come. It may not even make sense to anyone, but me. But that is how it is. 🙂

I do have a good few friends who I am proud to say are also in recovery alongside me. And I have those who still struggle. Sometimes it is hard to read what they’re going through but they supported me through bad times and I will always be there for them through theirs.

In chatting to someone this morning about ED I did realise that these last few weeks have also heard my ED voices shouting louder.

Recovery is a great thing, I love life and want to do everything and anything. I want to be free of the pain and suffering an Eating Disorder can bring.

It is very tough though. Glad to say I am a fighter.

I’ve done very well since Christmas in getting my blood pressure and weight back under some control. But in being asked to lose weight freaks me out. Ed screams at me to return to him and then it becomes a constant battle to fight him off.

This last two weeks I’ve had so much on my plate that I’ve not had chance to really think about how it has tried to sneak back in.

Funny though, that stress leads to an ED sufferer wanting to start to regain control through the one thing they know will ultimately crash their entire world again.

With everything going on in my life at the moment. I do however have plenty of positive things. It isn’t all stressful. And I think, that the positive side of my life out balances ED’s tremendous effort to grab a hold again. I am very grateful for that.

I am throwing out old diaries and posting everything to here that is relevant.

Here is an old poem. Written in 2010.

I can’t imagine a life without you,

you rule my head, filling me with dread.

I can’t imagine why you hurt me so,

the inner pain won’t ever go.

I’ve fought you long, I’ve fought you hard,

you’re like over burnt toast, black and charred.

My head hurts, my heart aches,

the tiniest crack and your back to attack.

The pain I cause myself so bad, all I feed is sad.

to want this year to end,

to blend with all others,

to start afresh, not be hiding in this terrible flesh.

Apt for how I’m feeling right now. Although it is a new year. And so far many plus and minuses… 🙂

Outlook is positive though, keeping on keeping on.

Stay safe all…. and feel free to ignore these ramblings.