Category Everyday stuff

Jun 1 2013

Weeks holiday : )

I’ve had a wonderful weeks holiday. Only been around the house and pottering about. Had lots of time to spend with Bobby. And lots of time to write.

Bobby is coming along in leaps and bounds, he’s had first blood. But, I’m actually really getting him used to me. He’s no longer scared. He’s eating well and I’m so happy for him. First vet visit on wed for him. Want to check out how his wings are and his feather condition. 🙂

 

Here’s a pic for you….

a runner bean

with a runner bean

 

I had booked extra time with EJ, which was very beneficial. I learned loads this week. And I’ve finalised my first two chapters. In regards to their pacing and style. Maybe some people still won’t like it, or think there is too much stuff to come before it. But I’m happy with it. I think it’s ‘near’ there. 🙂 You can never say perfect. As writers we’re always tweaking something or another. lol

The weather has been pretty hit and miss, it’s left the garden growing well. Because of the rain and the sunshine. And it’s left my main pond green and warm 🙂

My fish are even thinking of spawning today. So it just shows how much its changed in a week. 🙂

I am very happy to say there are no problems with them, where as there was for the most part of last year. No changes and fingers crossed that it’s a nice summer.

Last day off on my hols tomorrow, and I’m glad I’ve had the rest. I’m not overly looking forward to re-joining the rat race. But I’ll be happy to get back into things.

Mum flies to spain with Frank on Friday for a week, so we’re looking after their cat for a week, he’ll just want some food and cuddles in the evening. He’s a cute cat, so I don’t mind. I’ll just have to slot him in where the rest of my pets don’t demand attention.

So, onwards to tomorrow and hopefully I’ll speak to you soon.

Feb 23 2013

Stress and ED

So this last couple of weeks have been the utmost stressful. ( I am staying positive) honest…. 🙂

I wanted to reflect this morning while I had time on that. So here I go. Apologies to anyone stressing out at the moment. But these thoughts are sort of sticking out at the moment. And need to be ‘gotten rid of’ I can process my ED brain much easier with writing, than I can inside my own head.

So verbal splurge here I come. It may not even make sense to anyone, but me. But that is how it is. 🙂

I do have a good few friends who I am proud to say are also in recovery alongside me. And I have those who still struggle. Sometimes it is hard to read what they’re going through but they supported me through bad times and I will always be there for them through theirs.

In chatting to someone this morning about ED I did realise that these last few weeks have also heard my ED voices shouting louder.

Recovery is a great thing, I love life and want to do everything and anything. I want to be free of the pain and suffering an Eating Disorder can bring.

It is very tough though. Glad to say I am a fighter.

I’ve done very well since Christmas in getting my blood pressure and weight back under some control. But in being asked to lose weight freaks me out. Ed screams at me to return to him and then it becomes a constant battle to fight him off.

This last two weeks I’ve had so much on my plate that I’ve not had chance to really think about how it has tried to sneak back in.

Funny though, that stress leads to an ED sufferer wanting to start to regain control through the one thing they know will ultimately crash their entire world again.

With everything going on in my life at the moment. I do however have plenty of positive things. It isn’t all stressful. And I think, that the positive side of my life out balances ED’s tremendous effort to grab a hold again. I am very grateful for that.

I am throwing out old diaries and posting everything to here that is relevant.

Here is an old poem. Written in 2010.

I can’t imagine a life without you,

you rule my head, filling me with dread.

I can’t imagine why you hurt me so,

the inner pain won’t ever go.

I’ve fought you long, I’ve fought you hard,

you’re like over burnt toast, black and charred.

My head hurts, my heart aches,

the tiniest crack and your back to attack.

The pain I cause myself so bad, all I feed is sad.

to want this year to end,

to blend with all others,

to start afresh, not be hiding in this terrible flesh.

Apt for how I’m feeling right now. Although it is a new year. And so far many plus and minuses… 🙂

Outlook is positive though, keeping on keeping on.

Stay safe all…. and feel free to ignore these ramblings.

Nov 13 2012

25K and climbing

 

This is just a little one really. Should have posted it wed, but hey ho… Will blog later on about other things.

But, HALFWAY…. whooop whooop 🙂

Getting exciting in the midst of all the action now. Although by the time thursday comes I do start to flag a little…

Speak soon.

D

Jan 7 2012

07/01/12

Hey there,

After a few drinks last night, I never slept. Awful night really. Heard the guinea pig cry a few times and just was worried. Poor thing. His wound this morning is black, so at least it isn’t open any more.

Paul got up at 5:30 to see if he could get his tyre blown up at work, nope. So he came back and I had to drop him off to fix it later on my way to Dive training.

It has been an interesting day, but a long one.  The theory behind BSAC and all the gear is hard work to get your head around. Because I’d done it last year, it was easier to remember and we finished the first three lessons and went into the fourth, which I hadn’t done. So learning more today about dive plans and tables was interesting.

I’m tired now, and haven’t done any of my jobs today. I have to do them tomorrow. Looking after the big fish and the babies, cleaning the guinea pig pen and tidying the house. This is  all in amongst picking up the fish tank from my brother and taking it to Wigan for a friend. Nightmare, I think tomorrow will be just as hard as today. 😦

Oh well, I am going to relax tonight and see what happens. I’ve done well this week so relaxing is top priority lol….

Not sure if I’ll get much writing done, but I am going to do a read through while the other half flicks channels trying to find something to watch. Sat night TV isn’t much good.

Catch you laters 🙂

Dawn

Jan 3 2012

03/01/12

Tuesday…

So as interesting as it was to be back in work. (not) glad it is over.

Paul hasn’t worked today, so it was nice to get in and have a roaring coal fire. Was good not to have to do it myself.

I also had two Parcels waiting for me when I got in.

One, a freebie from  http://www.talentville.com a book on scriptwriting, by David Trottier… Dr. Format. So that will be an interesting read. I’ve kept up as much as possible with the column that sparked the book.

And the other was for a DVD. A Nandar entertainment production, called Finding Mr Right. I’ll let you know what it is like when I have seen it later.

So for the rest of the evening I’m going to make Paul look after me. Seeing as it was such a hard day back at work. I don’t like doing much on the first day.

Got my ‘healthy eating’ off to a good start. I avoided all the pastries and bacon buttys at work. I tell you it is going to be tough, driving a large ‘lunch box’ around all day, filled with delicious pastries, cakes, sandwhichs, pasties and other hot food is a nightmare. But I will have to carry on. I really do want my to look nice for my dad’s wedding. 🙂

Fingers crossed. 🙂

Settling in for the night now.  I have a few other things to write. So on with that… no more procrastination I have a TV episode to finish.

Speak later.

Dawn