Two posts one day….

I’ll explain why.

Just been to visit the doctors, routine as usual.But I had the nasty surprise of the nurse saying I needed to lose weight…. she didn’t even weigh me. But my blood pressure is up, borderline as she called it. 120 over 88… I’ve never been more than 110 over 60-70 before, and I always put that down to bad eating habits.

So I’m sot of stuck in a rock and a hard place… After chatting to mum on the way home from work about weight and stuff. After all I was really good with food and excersise after the Xmas hols and in 3 weeks I only lost a pound and a half… I would have to cut everything out for nearly twelve months to lose the amount of weight my nurse is asking of me.

NO WAY! I have to say this because I know what that will do to me. I could lose the weight in a few months, done it before, wouldn’ t be hard to let those inner thoughts take fore-front of my mind once more. Would it be easier, no, would I be healthier, no. I would still fit into the bracket of ‘over-weight’

I suffered with my eating disorder for 16 years. I went from over 20 stone to just 10 and in 2 years. For my over seas friends, that is 280lb to 140lb and for the most part stayed around 12 stone for many years. Which was classed as bad… I virtually didn’t eat for months to get it to the ‘healthy’ range… wasn’t so healthy when all my hair started to fall out, I couldn’t keep my concentration levels up, or I’d fall asleep at work…

I know I am a rounder person now, I don’t mind telling anyone I am 14 stone now. But, I am never going back there.

More swimming to get a little fitter and I might cut some more booze out. But the food… nope its staying. I am not changing it, I am not restricting.  I can’t. The fear of going backwards is too much.

Rant over…

Other fab news, casting call has just gone out for the short script I’ve been working on. So excited to see this come together. I will post more as soon as I can… YEY!!!

4 comments on “Two posts one day….

  1. Hello, new blog friend. 🙂

    I used to be obese and over the course of a couple of years lost 75lbs–I think that’s 5 stone 5lbs. I did it the way I was meant to, because I knew the chances of putting the weight back on were higher if I didn’t. So I’ve actually come to appreciate healthy foods, and while I put some weight back on due to graduate school, I’m doing OK.

    BUT! At my first doctor’s appointment after reaching a new low in YEARS, I was so excited to see if she commented on it. Only, I didn’t get my doctor, I got a nurse practitioner who said, “I see you’ve lost a lot of weight. You need to lose more.”

    I was floored, devastated. It was like she had just trampled on everything I’d been through emotionally and physically with my weight problems. And then I realized something: It’s not about her, or her charts. It’s about me and how I feel and what I know is right for MY body. So you do what you need to do for your own health, and if it’s not good for their chart, that’s too bad.

    So good luck and best wishes! 🙂

    • Thanks hun, I totally get what you’ve been through and I am glad you are okay. I think they just don’t realise sometimes what they’re saying, after all, she isn’t the nurse who started me on a diet at 16, who watched the weight fall off and yet still wanted more and more… She probably doesn’t even know about my health issues, maybe I’ll have to have a chat with her and seek her advice about it. I don’t know, just a bit floored by it. But, I won’t let it do my head in… forgotten… going to have my ‘chippy tea’ still as it is the only one I will have in a month.

      Thanks for the follow, I look forward to getting to know you.


  2. I am appalled at the treatment from so called professional people that you have recieved. Weight issues and ED are a real touchy topic for me! I know of many wonderful people that have battled weight problems many of them are medical conditions thyroid and other medical conditions that cause weight gain even medications can cause weight loss or gain and can also affect blood pressures and other things.
    Every person is different and every case has to be treated individually. I have not posted too often but yes I too have suffered from ED over the years and I am not speaking about this as someone who is not familiar with ED.
    When I played junior hockey it was fully acceptable and as the so called professionals said I was healthy at 210 pounds. Yes I was very muscular at that time but if you looked at BMI and other charts I was overweight but because my mass was muscle it was acceptable by these professionals. Then on the otherside of the coin when I came down with stomach troubles later in life and I dropped from my 210 to 135 they again said it was ok I was not underweight how is it possible that I can stray 75 pounds and be from one end of the scale to the other but still classed as acceptable.
    Every person is different and we know how we feel and to me that is the most important thing if we are not feeling poorly and it is not affecting our mental or physical abilities then why the bother. I have a daughter that is turning 22 next week and she has been a petite lass her whole life but now is battling the a weight gain for the first time in her life. She is having some medical troubles and is going for exploritory surgery in 3 weeks but she is also on hormones and other medications that is causing her weight gain. Even the birth control that she takes the biggest warning on the medication is causes weight gain. Hmm now these are the same so called professionals that would say you have gained weight and they are the ones that prescribled the mediacations that caused it.
    I think that society has to get a grip on what is acceptable. Everybody is different day to day your blood pressure can fluctuate with stress and other reasons so until it becomes a daily thing or constant problem I feel the concern is being overblown not to blow it off but at the same time maybe something to monitor for a time before they say oh it is weight related.
    Ok my reply is becoming longer than your post LOL so I will cut it off now by saying you know the battles you have been through in the past and you have a great attitute about loving yourself they way you are and we love you just the way you are too and that is the most important thing.
    Your a super lass and have been through some stressful times of late and in my non professional opinion this could be the cause of an elevated blood pressure and will stop now and say your great in my eyes just the way you are. xxxxxxxxx

  3. Thank you, I know what you’ve been through and I understand. I think for me today was just more of a shock. I’ve been this weight for over 18mths, but she’s never said it… Just things getting to the front of my mind. As it can only can… minds don’t change but perception does.


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