Two posts one day….

I’ll explain why.

Just been to visit the doctors, routine as usual.But I had the nasty surprise of the nurse saying I needed to lose weight…. she didn’t even weigh me. But my blood pressure is up, borderline as she called it. 120 over 88… I’ve never been more than 110 over 60-70 before, and I always put that down to bad eating habits.

So I’m sot of stuck in a rock and a hard place… After chatting to mum on the way home from work about weight and stuff. After all I was really good with food and excersise after the Xmas hols and in 3 weeks I only lost a pound and a half… I would have to cut everything out for nearly twelve months to lose the amount of weight my nurse is asking of me.

NO WAY! I have to say this because I know what that will do to me. I could lose the weight in a few months, done it before, wouldn’ t be hard to let those inner thoughts take fore-front of my mind once more. Would it be easier, no, would I be healthier, no. I would still fit into the bracket of ‘over-weight’

I suffered with my eating disorder for 16 years. I went from over 20 stone to just 10 and in 2 years. For my over seas friends, that is 280lb to 140lb and for the most part stayed around 12 stone for many years. Which was classed as bad… I virtually didn’t eat for months to get it to the ‘healthy’ range… wasn’t so healthy when all my hair started to fall out, I couldn’t keep my concentration levels up, or I’d fall asleep at work…

I know I am a rounder person now, I don’t mind telling anyone I am 14 stone now. But, I am never going back there.

More swimming to get a little fitter and I might cut some more booze out. But the food… nope its staying. I am not changing it, I am not restricting.  I can’t. The fear of going backwards is too much.

Rant over…

Other fab news, casting call has just gone out for the short script I’ve been working on. So excited to see this come together. I will post more as soon as I can… YEY!!!

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Diving and Mums last day :(

Hey there, 

 

So last night was really good.

 

I put all my kit together with no problems and managed all the first part of the assessment without any problems. But, then  we had to do a mask removal and replace which I decided to choke down a load of water with. I got the mask back on and continued to breath okay, but was coughing. Not so good 2 meters under water, so we came up. I still did well though. And everything is signed up for now. 

 

All I need to do is some open water diving as part of my training. Far too cold out there just yet, even my main pond is only at 6 degrees… yikes. 

 

In other news, mum had her last day with me today. Pretty sad really, it was a rushed day, because of road works and other things, but we chatted and laughed most of the day. Only getting tired of it towards home time. I can’t complain about that. I’m in on my own tomorrow now 😦 sad… going to miss  chatting to her on the way into work and on the way home. 

 

Just hoping she can find another more sutible job. It looks pretty bleak out there. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. 

 

Weather is really cold, my fish hate it, I hate it…. even my cat won’t go out anymore, she hides any where she can to try and avoid being kicked out at night. Lucky for her, she just goes into the other part of the house, as my mum in the granny flat has a cat flap. So my cat goes to sleep with my mums cat. Nice hey, we’ll you’d think so, but all they do is ‘hiss’ at each other lol… 

 

I am going to sit back and relax now. Need to chill out after a busy night, and need to get warm…. brrrr 

 

Heading over to Talentville to check out what’s been going on there today. With a bit of luck I might have had a script review or two… can hope can’t I. 

 

Dawn