Nov 4 2004

04/11/04

 

Hi everyone,

 

Decided today that i am taking a break from the boards, I feel I need to just get away from everything as I am not doing to well,

 

I know you have all been here for me, and I will be thinging of you all still for each day I am away,

 

As I love you all to pieces,

 

I just think I need a break, please take care of each other, and of course yourselves, I love you loads,

 

For those who have my msn, I may not answer, if online, could be my husband as he doesnt know how to switch it off,

 

Will be back monday night,  love you all, sending ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) your ways,

Dawn

Xxxxxx

Nov 2 2004

02/11/04

 

 

Oh this sucks ed sucks, and I am struggling like mad,

Its been four months, since I purged, and felt the need too, but I am going the other way, am finding it so hard to eat, and I hate it, hate it HATE IT

Dont know whats worse, dont know which demon is the most horrid,

 

THEY BOTH ARE.

 

Swapped one for the other, and I feel so bad,

 

I want some answers but I have none,

 

Wrote this today, for my friends, they my inspiration, and I love them to pieces,

 

Fight

 

Keep on fighting we must,

For in each other we trust,

To keep our spirits high,

To never let them die,

 

From feelings deep inside, we know we cannot hide,

so together hand in hand,

 

WE WILL MAKE OUR STAND

 

Reaching out across this land,

becoming stronger our great line longer,

 

The inner sanctum we will protect,

 

The inner child we will respect.

 

(added this too,)

 

For all of us here, together we will not fail,

together we can see the light,

together for eternity we will fight,

 

For hope guides us, and sets us free.

You will be you, and I will be me,

 

No matter how long, no matter how hard,

together holding hands we will walk this land.

happy free together eternaly.

 

Love you all guys,

Dawn

xxxxx

Oct 31 2004

31/10/04

Is it just me or is it just hard for us all to let the feelings out, to try and understand whats going on inside and to move forward,

 

I seem to do ok for a while but then it starts to head backwards, and I cant seem to get out of the habit, of hating me,

Why do I hate me so much why cant I be happy and like the person I am, am I so bad. what have I done wrong,

 

Ed is still there niggling in the background and I cant stand him being there I want to get rid of him but with each bite he is telling me I am wrong and I am bad.

 

There is something bad in him that wants me to self destruct but I cant give up the fight, it feels like hes winning me bk, but no I keep on fighting him and its so hard.

Would just be so easy to give in, but I cant I know I cant I dont want this anymore,

I dont want to feel this bad anymore, I want to be free, and I am crying now, this torture cant go on, I am in the middle of a crossroads, and I cant choose either way to go, am stuck with a choice and I cant make it,

 

My friend Pat says things are gonna come to a head at xmas and I dont want that, want to hide away and not go anywhere dont want anything to come out dont feel I can handle it, or my family can.

Am so lost, cant talk, cant thinkk cant fight, Love you all,

hugs,

XXXxxxxxxxx Dawn

 

 

Oct 30 2004

30/10/04

 

Hi everyone,

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Just wanted to say, that I am struggling with talking at the moment, and its not easy for me to actually post anything, so please dont think I am ignoring anyone, as I love you all, and you are all in my thoughts all day n everyday,

 

You have all helped me so much and I am greatful to everyone of ya,

 

Hope everyone else is doing ok, and I will be trying to get back to normal pretty soon,

Love ya,

 

Dawn

Xxxxxx

Oct 27 2004

27/10/04

 

Hello everyone, I just wanted to post this as I know sometimes things dont go to plan,

It is lovely to want to meet up with people on the internet and coming on sites like this to help us all heal on the inside is great, and life long friendships and great bonds are formed.

I myself have met some people I have made friends with on another site, which was wonderful but I wanted to warn everyone as sometimes people are wrong.

 

I want everyone to be careful about getting too involved and to follow some simple internet rules,

 

1, always make sure someone knows where and how and who you are going to meet.

2. talk over the phone before you do meet, make sure parents and or partners know your schedule.

3.Meet in a public place and take a mobile phone with you, so if anything looks wrong, you can call someone straight away.

4. If someone else approaches you on behalf of your friend, walk away.

 

Please do not arrange to meet anyone if you have no intentions of keeping these promises, I know it sometime might not be possible to keep a promise, but remenber everyone here and on other sites are human, and some go to extreme lengths to travel to meet people.

 

If you cant make it ring and explain why, i know sometimes things come up, family stuff, but dont let anyone down with out good reason this is not only unfair but can be dangerous for the person you have arranged to meet, being stuck in a city or town they dont know.

 

Imagine if you were put in this situation, lost alone, and scared, not good.

 

Please everyone be aware of others feelings, we have all been through a lot, and are struggling with stuff on the inside, we all want love and support, we dont need letting down,.

 

Thankyou for listening,

 

Love and hugs

Dawn

xxxxxxx