Aug 12 2009

12/08/09

Trichodina again!

I am a little peeved with this paticular bug, it never leaves us alone !Had our local guy out to do a scrape on one of our fish who started acting off colour yesterday, she was skulking on the bottom of the pond. Her belly is all swollen this morning and so is her bottom. She was riddled with trich.I am treating the pond with pp, it worked last time but is just an awful thing to throw in. I don’t like using it at all!!!I am treating for 4500 gal. which could just be a little short of what ours is. But when ever I treated for it before with other things i doesed at that.

Let you know how I get on.

Keep your fingers crossed for us all. I hope she makes it. Or we might lose one of our best fish. !!

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LATER
I am struggling to keep this water PINK !!!!This is the second dose and its gone brown and crappy looking already. I didn’t know I had so much stuff still alive in there after killing it all off last week. I think I will have to chuck a third one in before 3 at this rate.Not looking good guys, any ideas?————————-

EVEN LATER
Thanks, I daren’t let this one escape notice for too long. So I had to let the stuff into the filter, plus that runs one of my oxygen sources the waterfall, so I didn’t really want to turn it off.I have a lot of brown scum floating now. So I think with this next dose it should be ok. Fingers crossed. Am mixing it per instructions now.Will let you know if it stays pink… and for how long.———————————–

MUCH LATER
Thanks to everyone.Its not been an easy day at all. I hate using this stuff but if its one of the best thing that works then thats all I can do.Nope it is still pink, I added de chlorinator to a glass to see if it changed colour, as it is hard to tell. Its ok its pink. Fingers crossed for this one guys.:) and pray.

I think I will have to do it again probably after 2 days, to get 8 hours of pink water, nothing is touching it at the moment, and I think my fish have had enough for one day. Especially the sturgeon, they never liked it last time, but they survived.

Fingers crossed.

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MUCH MUCH LATER
Thanks all. :) your support is amazing in times of need. I really appreciate it.

Well my female sturgeon has been floating, upside down gasping for air, but with a little guidance she has now gone back below. Unfortunately the ph is about to change, already seen two fish flash. So its not going to be an easy night for them. Fingers crossed they are all still here in the morning. We took out the four plants we had in there, as I know they will eat the oxygen in the night time. So hopefully everything will be ok.

I am going to stay up late, as the extra pump we have going keeps going off. Its been a long day, but I love my fish, all of them, and don’t want any to suffer.

Dawn

By kanundra • Posted in Koi
0
May 9 2009

09/05/09

The good stuff

Today I am entering another competition, only small in comparison to the others of which I entered. but non the less its had my creative mind on the go.

A good thing, I also read on with a script which I loved, just one problem there is no ending yet, so I will have to wait.

The bad stuff…

So today I actually ate, half a meal that is, in the sense of what I normally would, but in a way its a start.

Not daring to look at the scales this week as my jeans are already falling off. When it goes wrong it goes wrong big time. Nothing in the world feels worse than the food I let myself eat.

When you can make yourself feel guilty for the one thing in life that you have to do by necessity, then it becomes the worst thing in your life.

The world around me carried on today and I just sort of got caught out by the fact Paul came home and then went out for a take out. I still ate with him, which wasn’t what my inner voice had planned I really wanted to carry on and have as little as possible, surviving on a slice of toast and lots of coffee.

It can’t carry on like this, but I want it too, it is the most evil battle of all time, and I want the other side to win.

I am bad in the sense I want the other side to win, and I know I am.

Inside I feel I did well, walked a lot over the last couple of days and expenditure has def exceeded the income, but I now feel awful for eating dinner. In fact so awful I can’t bare it.

Dawn

Apr 24 2009

24/04/09

Ok, so yeah I am here again.

Feeling really quite depressed actually. Even though things have been going quite ok.

I am trying to eat properly. But there is this aching in the back of my head which is really starting to tick me off.

Anorexia is such a buzz, and I hate to say that I want that buzz back. I went most of the day on Monday without eating, and then again on Tuesday.

I have taken part in this script writing challenge and through this met some people through a group on the internet. I posted last week saying I would try and get to one of their meetings, and this week I finally had the chance.

I am always really really scared in meeting new people and doing new things. Tuesday night and I was really wanting to back out, and just send that message, and become one again a total introvert.

I can’t trust myself and I don’t trust people, no matter how I look on the outside and more to the point in feeling like this I hate myself and feel that everyone else around me will feel like that.

My head tells me all these terrible things, and I just want to curl up and basically cut myself off once again from everyone and everything around me.

Nothing makes this any easier, I am never going to be happy.

I want to start swimming again, but I know this is the anorexia trying to worm its way back in. If I go dancing at the moment I will feel fatter than ever and I cant face that.

I wish things were so easy and I wish that this damned illness never ever existed. But it does, and I have to deal with it.

I know what I have to do. I have three sessions left with Shirley at Cheadle, and I should message her, and get my arse back to someone who I can talk to.

At the moment I feel much worse about myself than I think I have before.

It hurts and it hurts like hell.

Much love everyone.

Dawn

Mar 27 2009

27/03/09

Hi everyone,

I guess its been a very long time since I actually wrote a blog.

I got caught up in things at home and life in general and this place sort of got lost.

Anyway, I am doing well, after falling off a horse last year, I gained 8kg which was hard for me, because I felt really awful, but I am learning to live with my new larger size. I am a little over weight, but I was never meant to be really skinny. I could lose a few and probably will before the summer, but at the moment I am trying not to obsess about it, and just be me.

I eat regularly now, every morning I eat brecky, and I treat myself to a bacon and sausage butty from the van behind where I work.

I eat good at night, either Paul or myself cooks, and I can even eat a little of something I never allowed myself before, chocolate.

I still aint that keen on it but its getting there.

Anyway, my writing is good, the site I am on mostly is zhura.com I write there daily and take part in their writing comunity which is brill.

I am entering competitions and hopefully things will pick up this year.

Its been a tough one, Paul was involved in an accident in his bus. Someone pulled out on him and the front end of the bus was a right off, the fire brigade had to free him from the cab as he was stuck. He badly damaged his arm, shoulder and back and was off work for three months, then when he did go back into work he was laid off after about 3 weeks.

He hasn’t got a job yet, but is hoping for something soon.

Cath you all again soon, and I hope to start bloggin once again.

Dawn