(((((((((hugs)))))))

Just a note to tell you all i am off to spain on sat, 23, and not back till 7th may,

I am also not sure whats going to happen regarding the internet, i want to keep it going, but whil i am off work I cant, so it may stop, and I will only be able to get on every now and again,

Sending you all hugs,
I will keep in touch by text,

and post,

Love ya all,

Dawn

xxxxx

Hi

Just thought I would update everyone on whats been going on in my life,

Started February when after taking my frined (11th) Karen shopping, I bought my husband some nice underware, for valantines  and she bought the guy she was seeing, Terry some too, (Terry the married man with two small kids)

When she finally got to give them to him, 21st Feb, he decided to get changed in the middle of the factory floor and having no underware on didnt stop him changing either,  I made it perfectly clear that i didnt want to see anything, but five minutes later, he made sure I was looking and got it out again, while my friends could still see.

This happened on a number of occasions, and he also started to touch me, I wasnt happy at all, it got worse, and I started cutting, couldnt talk to anyone about this, I felt i was asking for it, and deserved everything i got,

Eventually I told Paul last wednesday and then also my councellor this week (Cpn) and after havng talked to my family and stuff went to visit my boss this morning and report him.

My boss took the whole thing very serious and he had to have a witness from the factory and so did I, unfortunatly there was no one I could trust anymore in there, and I had to pick the managers son, but at least I knew her wouldnt have said anything outside to any of the other staff before it got out anyway.

I was so scared I was shaking and nearly in tear talking about the whole thing, I guesse when you talk about it it seems all the more real and its awful.

I have just had a phone call from my boss saying he has had both Terry and Karen in the office and neither denied it they both said it happened like I said it had, I couldnt understand, how come he didnt deny it, what was he doing, admitting it, omg, I just dont know what to think, is he getting more pleasure now out of knowing he has hurt me even more,

I am just so lost and unsure and scared and agggghhhhh I am glad they didnt deny it but just cant work out why?

Am I such a bad person that people will always take advantage of me, of the way i act and feel. can people pick up the fact that you are vaulnarable,

Sorry for ranting, just had to get it out i guess

Love and hugs

Dawn

Xxxx

Just wanted to post something positive in amongst all the sadness here,

I feel all your pain and I so wish I could take it and ed away, just dont give in, ever. I am not, none of us should.

Fight

We all must keep on fighting,

Together, forever, even if two steps forward, means one back

This feeling of flight, will go away.

But us here will stay, to encourage each other, to draw streangth.

to draw hope, and love, from all

Keep your heads up, reach out to each other, and never give in,

NEVER GIVE IN

We are all worth more, we all deserve happiness, and love, and friends.

We all, need love and friends and happiness,

We don’t need ed.

WE NEVER NEEDED    ED.

He controls us and makes us hate and hurt and not care, when we should, life is short, life is so much more than this, reach out, take it back,

FIGHT

Love and huge hugs, Dawn,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Writing this, as I self harmed on friday really bad, and ended up in hospital,

I am taking time for me, no internet, and not much phone time, I need to get me right, for real, I love everyone here, and will wrtie soon when I get time but not by computer, If anyone wants to keep in touch with me, please email me at email not valid anymore…  and i will get in touch,

Please take care of you all, we all need to say in our own time, no more ed, no more of this hurt,

I am ready this is the big fight, the fight for my life, and i will take it back.

Please all of you think about what we are doing, and seek someone to talk to, to help you, I love you all and want to see you all someday, soon

Dawn

Xxxxxxx

Thank you everyone.

I don’t know what to do to say and express how much I feel for you all, you are all so amazing,

I actually admitted yes I am not doing well and I am struggling, I was talking to one of my closest friends the other nightSianand I talked properly with her for quite a while, and it made me feel better, she is a wonderful friend and I think the world of her.

This is something, that I really want, I want to be better, I want to be free. I have to start to talking and being honest, and I have to do whats right for me.

If that means taking more time for me then I will have to, I love everyone here, and I will still be about, and posting, and on msn,

Have got some good news and I have a lot of stuff to be doing in the next four weeks, my short film is to be made and to be entered into a competition, at the end of April,

so busy busy bee i am.

I am hoping things will start looking better, it is getting there slowly.

Love and huge hugs,

Dawn

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