Well after having an interesting afternoon, down in the pub with our new employer, and a free bar, I went out last night to the club on here, and had some more fun, its a good thing I wasn’t the one falling over tables, and stripping off on the dance floor, otherwise I would have had one hell of a red face this morning..

Anyways, needless to say the night was eventful, and I as a writer only can do kept mental note of the things that go on in this crazy world.

It was a mindful of information, and I really must do it more often, although next time, I will go in with some female friends instead of Paul, he cant keep up the pace, bless him..

Anyways, I am off to my mums tonight, for a Chinese and a DVD, I think I need the rest after last night, heheh, and to sit and relax is defiantly in order…

Hope all is well with everyone, and sorry I haven’t been around much this last week. Life can be so hectic at times…

Dawn xx

Saturday, umm got up did a little cleaning and spent most of the day writing and sleeping… hehehehe am lazy… went out with my dad for a bit and seen his new kitchen very very nice. Although it aint quite finished yet.
Sunday ummm more of the same lazed about and chilled out

so up to now this week is going ok, I went back to work but didn’t feel like it really. Got a puncture on the back tyre of the bike, so that kind of kept me busy most of yesterday with Paul trying to get it sorted out. Lucky enough we have a spare…

I rang my granddad yesterday, he is a bit lonely and sad but he seems ok, I think 64 years living and sharing your life with someone when they aren’t there anymore I think you would feel like part of you was missing, and it must be heart breaking

I am a little upset after looking into Manchester Royal hospital, its private, and think there should be someone nearer than that if they going to send me private.. I don’t know what the NHS thinks some times…

Food wise still aint so good, but am trying. A little at a time.

Hope everyone else is doing ok…

Dawn x

Umm night before wasn’t good, got so drunk and spent the night crying, at least I got some sleep though, falling into a drunken stupor at about 9pm.

I don’t think I ever could have imagined what it was going to be like burying my Nan, but it wasn’t nice, from all over the country our family came and my cousins carried her coffin in. One of the being my brother, whom has been detached from this side of the family since my mum and dad got divorced, my nan and granddad only having seen one of their great grandchildren once.

Seeing everyone cry was heartbreaking and made me even worse, my cousin Stewart who was very close to my Nan couldn’t hold it together much, but his love for her and her love for his two kiddies was amazing, and every time I had been to the hospital or their house Stewart was there with them…

After the funeral we went back to the house, where there was some food and some drink. Paul and I left at about 1. With the intentions of going back later. One of my aunts was going to pick up my Nan’s ashes at 430 and we were to bury them in the garden by a tree specially picked for her.

We did go back and it was beautiful, the rain had managed to stay off for most of the day, so being outside was pleasant, and finally we left about 7.

I have had a few extra days off work, I went to the doctor yesterday to see if he could give me something to help me sleep at night, just for a few days, and I had my assessment at the hospital this morning. I am to be referred to the eating disorder unit at cheadle in Manchester, I am not sure how long that will take but at least they will have a much better idea of what to do with me…

Just been for my riding lesson, I didn’t want to go but my new friend Michelle hadn’t text me with her number, so didn’t want to let her down. Plus having talked most of the morning to the doctor about everything, she advised me to go, as I love it so much…

Silly Doc… I was on a massive horse called Dimple, and he really bounced me all over the place, took some time to get used to him, I defiantly am going to have to get some proper riding boots my legs are a mess now, got bruises all up them.. So much for wanting to have summer legs… hey what summer anyway… lol

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Dawn xx

Thankfully that is… I have been so bored today, we got a new machine in to supposedly make us loads of money and it done nothing but break down all day, I been standing waiting for the stupid thing to get going…

BORING

Anyways, am not here for long tonight, going to relax watch some TV, and do nothing… Got enough to do tomorrow…

I was thinking about it a bit today, wondering what it will be like and stuff. I am just going to feel weird, seeing everyone again, the last time was at their reunion last year, and that was amazing…

Anyways, am not going to think much about it tonight, and am going to drink myself stupid just like I did last night… a whole bottle of wine.. And I ended up being sick, it normally doesn’t affect me that much, but on an empty stomach, and then trying to eat something, recipe for disaster…

Aint had anything to eat yet today, but got some garlic chicken in the oven, so am going to try that, I don’t want it, but am going to try…

Have a good evening all. I don’t think I will be online tomorrow, and if I am I don’t think I will be talking much…

Take care, love ya’s Dawn …

PS think about myNan tomorrow about 1030…

I seem to have confused some people in my latest blog.

I.e. talking about ed. Ed is not a real person, or a person I used to know, Ed is short for eating disorder.

In referring to needing him, I am meaning me needing him in a sense as a coping mechanism. A strategy in dealing with everything I don’t like, or don’t want to cope with.

I know it’s a bit confusing, but Ed really does feel like a part of me, a part I want to get rid of like but none the less…

Hope that makes it a little clearer.

Dawn x