Hi everyone,

The board is quiet so just wanted to moan on in here for a while.

Well, work went down great this week, managed to fall out two people, (The alcoholic)and his friend, (Obviously cause I upset him) Plus her son is one of my brothers friends and they had to walk home last Saturday, cause of what my brother did.

He once again didn’t come into work and I ended up with his job again. Then he came in on wed, and I said to him I didn’t think I’d see him again and that’s why he fell out with me. He went to the hospital yesterday, and I asked him how he had got on and he asked me how I knew he gone, well nearly everyone knew by then. Then he asked me why I wanted to know, I said I was his friend, then he remarked that he wasn’t happy with what I had said wed morning.

I told him at least it was the truth I didn’t think I would see him again but he just shrugged me off and I went outside for my coffee.

I just don’t know what my head is thinking. I wish they would all take their problems and themselves somewhere else, leave me alone.

Any way I am off now for a few days relaxing so maybe when I get back things will have settled. Hi everyone.

Made it to the doctors today, and it was so hard I felt like a wreak, now that it is over though I do feel so much better,

Hubby Paul came with me and that was great, I had to wait 40 mins though and that just made me worse.

When I went in I just blurted it all out, didn’t even give the doctor time to speak.

He put me on some Flouroxatine, mild dose to try and lift the depression and help with the sleep.

Paul held my hand and on the way out asked me if I was ok, I wasn’t of course, but managed to keep a smile. I do feel better now, even managed a little dinner, didn’t want it but know my body needs it.

Any way I have to go back in a month to see how I am coping then he said he could refer me to a psychologist specialising in eating disorders. Then refer me on to a unit or something.

I hope I dont have to get that far and will really try to get back on track.

Wish me luck everyone, I need it, and thanks so much for all your support, at least I finally made it to see hi,

Take care and speak to you soon, love and hugs Dawn

Talk to you soon.

Love and hugs

Dawn

Hi,

Well the weekend was crap, will explain on another thread. As for the body wrap, my friend does them as part of her holistic therapy, you are measured everywhere, for eg my waist to start with on fri was 32inches, they draw lines on you so they know where they did it exactly and then they rub in very vigorously a body contour gel full of antitoxin fighting essential oils. Then you get wrapped in bandages. You feel like a mummy and bits stick out everywhere. Then Pat my friend wraps cling film round you as well, and then you get into a hypothermic wrap, (Like tin foil) and she puts blankets on top of you. Then you basically cook for an hour, I fell asleep. And when they take them all off and remeasure you, you can see the difference, my waist measured 31inches. It basically gets rid of excess fluid and tones up your skin, eliminating toxins with it.

If you drink water and only have a cool shower the effects can last for three days.

Hope that helps, my friend Pat really does do a good, job on wrapping you up, she has been a family friend for twenty odd years, (I still pay for the service) but she really is the best. Some of the other places don’t go to half the trouble she does, and some don’t use bandages just cling film.

Hope that helps. Take care love Dawn

20/06/2004

Hi everyone.

Just to let you know how the wedding reception went, well to start with, when we got to the first pick up there wasn’t enough people there, Steve (the best man) told me he had put the price up to £7 per head to cover the cost of the coach as there were only half being picked up, so we were in a double Decker coach, and only had 27 on in total by the time we got there, Steve had the money and he wouldn’t give it to me.

When we got into the reception it went ok, I asked my brother Chris three times to come and see Paul and sort it out about the coach, which he didn’t.

The reception went well everyone enjoyed themselves, and at the end of the night I had to ask him again for the money, Now he had enough money to pay for the coach with what was collected in, but oh no he paid the Dj £100 and only had £50 to give me, which he didn’t give me he gave my mum and asked my mum to sort something out.

I couldn’t believe it but managed to keep my cool. We dropped everyone off and as we were getting to the last stop, one of the lads asked Paul would he go off his route as they were all going back to his house for a party. Paul declined, and this lad started kicking off then saying that he’d been paid well for doing this job and that it wasn’t on, I couldn’t take any more, and I am so surprised that Paul didn’t throw him off there and then, the others were ok about it, (It was a good 15-20 min walk for them) but Paul never got anything for doing the job, if he had known there was only going to be that many then we would have gone in our car and got a taxi home. He could have enjoyed himself then.

It was a total farce, Not only has Chris now ripped his friends off, but Paul will never have him here again and I can say I don’t want him here either. He never even had the decency to come over to us and explained that he didn’t have enough money. Why? That is just so shallow. I really am disgusted with him.

And I have a good mind to post him this email just to show what he’s done to us.

Sorry for moaning, I have just finished work as well now am tired so am going for a kip, maybe online later but I don’t know.

Take care, love to you all, posted a few pictures, I am well made up with my hair cut looks really nice.

Dawn

Hi everyone,

Just a quick note as I won’t get on tomorrow or maybe even Sunday.

Hope everything goes ok but will let you know as soon as possible. Paul and I had a bit of a heart to heart over the whole coach business and we now know our game plan if things go wrong.

Regarding the dress that didn’t fit, well after my body wrap today, and with the weight I lost (Not a good thing) I lost 1 and a half inches from the wrap, the dress fits. And I will post some pics when I can for you to see.

I will have to take it easy tonight though, no drinking and no great big tea, I am staying in my dads and his girlfriend is a professional chef. Then tomorrow I am having my hair done and going to work for four hours, then its the do, I will also be working on Sunday as they are so desperate, so I will catch you Monday.

Take care everyone, and will speak to you soon.

Love and hugs Dawn

Hi guys,

Thanks so much for that. I feel much better today, even though I have worked so hard. Paul picked a load of car boot stuff up off one of his friends yesterday and I was up at five this morning yet again, but this time I had to go with him on the bike and help him to unpack, (Couldn’t leave him to do it on his own as there is too many vultures around) Then at 730 I left to go to work myself and worked till twelve, then went back to find him. I can’t believe he did so well. He sold £70 worth of stuff and he only paid £35 for it. There’s loads left so he’s going to have another one in two weeks. (After the wedding)

I do kind of let things get to me especially over my brother and mum, he’s always been the blue eyed boy, and it wasn’t until I actually showed my mum 6 years ago what he was like really that she decided to take no more off him. This time with the wedding I can understand, but my brother has a daughter Megan and my mum gets the rough end of the stick over her now.   Sometimes I feel so sorry for my mum as he only rings her to mind megan when no one else will and my mums expected to drop everything and mind her, sometimes she does sometimes she can’t as plans sometimes can’t be candled.

I love the letter idea, I used to do things like that but haven’t had chance lately. I keep a journal and normally write it all in there, but seem to come on here more often than write in that. Maybe I should print everything off and put in my journal then I can keep them.

Who did you send your letter to; I hope it didn’t upset everything too much.

Anyway thanks for thinking of me and I hope you are feeling ok too, take care and maybe we’ll catch up soon.

Love and hugs Dawn

Hi everyone,

Not doing too good with food this week, can’t seem to understand why although I feel my brothers wedding next week might have something to do with it, haven’t eaten much at all and still been swimming each morning, feel really great though, like I am ok, but now I sit here I don’t feel ok, just so wish that this ed would just go away, I wish that I could be happy with the way I was, wish I could feel fine with my shape, but I don’t I hate it, I hate everything about me at the moment.

Can’t stand anyone or anything to be near me, even been a bit snappy with Paul this week and that’s not like me, I put it down to the hot weather and just me being tired, but I am tired so tired of this constant battle to keep on eating. Pretending that everything is ok and normal when inside I wish I could tear everything up and throw it away.

I am in work tomorrow and I don’t want to go, overtime, but I need the money to pay for everything next week with this stupid wedding, I wish I didn’t have to go. Just wish I had said no cant make it, it would be so much easier.

My brother is such a big guy, has to have everything his own way, even got my mum to cancel their holiday plans as they changed the wedding date once again. He’s such a pain in the behind. The worst thing is I just feel like they are using us.

I rang him the other day and there was no one in so I left a message asking to ring me back, he never did, I just hope he realises, if things don’t go to plan when Paul drives the coach up to the reception, they’ll all be getting left there and we’ll be coming home.

Sorry to go on a bit, just so fed up with everything.

Take care speak to you soon.

Dawn