Hi everyone just a little update, nan had op and is sleeping at the moment I am going up later to see her so wont be back till gone 8ish, missed you all loads n loads and am sending you all massive hugs so you dont miss me too much,

Love you all,

thanks for being here,

Dawn

Xxxxx

ummm

Not good again, nan went to the hospital yesterday and has high blood pressure so they got to get her in monday night now, and I am so stressed out,

Two of our friends are sick, dying and I cant face them, I just cant go to visit, as I am so upset, and ashamed that i feel so bad when I aint dying am i, might feel like it inside but I aint,

The doc was really nice this morning and we had a good chat about my nan and about me returning to work the 13th sept, he said if I am not up to it, I can have more time, but I cant as I am beginin to struggle on the financial side and cant go on for much longer, he also suggested a build up shake thingy to help my body get the minerals and stuff it needs as I really aint eating enough.

I looked everywhere for my cash card this morning and woe and behold i couldnt find it, so paid for my script on credit card and the shake things, and then paid 119 for an envelope to post ferby but oh no the post office wouldnt take my card so ferby had to come home,

He no batteries in now so he cant talk, was worried of post man listening to him shout I am hungry and i love you,

oh well,

been a not good week at all, feel so down and out completly out of it, i wandered round the village this morning like a zombie and forgot everything I was supposed to do,

I am going to rest today am in fact going back to bed now, as am totally exhausted. i will be on later, and I love you all so so much you have all been there for me in my real time of need.

Take care all of you,

Love and huge hugs,

Dawn

xxxxxxxxxx

12:40

OMG

My friend in work K just sent me a text saying my other friend, the slow one, who just passed her driving test 8th time, cause I talked to her on the net on sunday has been going round telling everyone in work and that I was gonna ask the doctor for another week off, I bet she didnt tell them that I was having a really rough time neither as that is what i told her, when she asked when I’d be back I said I would see the doc as it was real bad for me,

I just sent her a really snotty text message to her phone saying if she a had been a real friend then I would tell her the truth as to why i am off work but I ended it saying she wasnt worth the truth..

I am so annoyed i really am, she getting blocked on my msn now, and I never gonna talk to her ever again.

**************************

Stupid woman

n more so

Love ya all here,

xxxxxxxxxxx

15:40

I feel the need to vent

I feel the need to scream and shout,

for gods sake let this pain go away and let me be who I want,

the person inside hiding again, as I am not me, the person inside crying,

You beat me down, you beat me sensless,

You stupid stupid disorder, leave me alone, let me be,

I am fed up and your the one free,

Love Dawn

xxxxxx

Bad day bad feelings feel i cant face anyone,
ed niggling at the back of me,
and I hate him so much,
I gonna take a night off fight him good style,
just though I’d let ya know, not good at the moment, and I love ya all loads,
Love and big hugs

Dawn
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx