What a hectic weekend it has been, I can tell you…..Just Wow

 

Friday wasn’t really a great day to start with, but it improved a lot Amazingly enough, Paul has received payment for his redundancy, £1200 wow I cant believe it, and you know its just such a relief, I can tell you.

 

Paul came home and we then went out to my friends 21 party, I was to meet three women there, two I knew of but hadn’t met, and the other I had only heard of by Jen.

 

It was a bit strange going in to Mere Brow club after my 30^th party, sort of like it was ages ago. But in the end we both got a lot from it I think.

 

Jay was brilliant, she is so nice, and obviously beautiful, I realised how much she really has been through. As for Faye, she was a completely different story, she was an obvious self harmer, as her cuts were on visable, she wore a pair of gloves, so no one could see the worse ones, but as the night grew on, and she was more and more drunk, she took them off, and yes, she was a mess, They were bad, but I have seen worse, like Chantelle, the thing with Faye’s were more that you knew they were real deep, as you could then see the stitch marks, like when I had my knee opp.

 

I think Christine was lovely, Jen’s friend frommanchester, I didn’t know that she has applied to Cheadle Royal as in to work there, but it didn’t scare me. Was nice that Paul could talk to her for a bit, when I went to the toilet, and was nice that he talked about his experience and about how her husband has been with her illness.

 

 

Saturday was a little weird, I wanted to go out to matalan to see if I could get a jumper like my grey one, and we ended up going to the caravan site, and then on to Ron Dockers, so Paul could finish off installing his DVD recorder. We then ended up going out for lunch and although I ordered an all day breakfast I gave Paul the egg, and took the sausage home, although I did eat it with toast and chips, heheheheh

 

I think I did really week, but the thing for me was my friend who works there Gill, who I used to go to school with, came over for a chat, I then mentioned I was attending Cheadle and she turned round and said that she has the opposite eating disorder from me.

 

How the hell does she know what Ed I have, I am more anorexic than bulimic, and I am suffering more than ever at the moment with self harm thoughts, why did she have to say that it was such a stupid comment?

 

Oh I don’t know, why I think such stupid things when other people pass comment….

 

Its crap….

 

 

Saturday night, and we went up to my dads for a meal another hot one I might add, but seeing as I’d had such a big dinner I couldn’t eat that much and Liz was great about it. I did manage some Banoffee pie later though.

 

I drove home, and had a good nights sleep for a change.

 

 

Sunday we went to the caravan and would you believe it, we actually sold it as well…

 

To be honest I can’t believe its gone, but I think I am ok with it.

 

I will miss it don’t get me wrong, but I know it is for the best.

 

Monday and the train was so late, because of flooding at chorley and I thought I had missed my appointment with Shirly but I hadn’t and I got to speak to her all about my weeks findings,

 

I am growing as a person and I understand more of where and who I am now more than I ever did.

 

I still feel like I am fat, but I know that the scales and others don’t agree with me. I just have to believe in others and borrow their adult personality from them,

 

Its not easy by any means, and I am finding it really hard, in fact more than really hard. But I think I am getting there.

 

I don’t know what will happen in the next few weeks, but I know things are getting better.

 

Tuesday

 

I have spent most of the day today doing some nice things with Paul, we went to Ormskirk to pay our council tax bill and then did a bit of window shopping, I am glad that I did, as there are some great bargains, in B&M, but Paul wont let me get them yet.

 

I want out place to look nice, where ever we end up. I just hope that he trusts my decorative taste

 

 

Anyways, tomorrow we move out of our caravan for good, it will be a long hard day, but I will do ok with it, and I will be ok,

 

I hope to speak soon, thankfully I got a laptop even though mine has gone away to be fixed, this one is a loan but it will sever a purpose, and I am so happy for that…

 

 

See you

 

Dawn xxx