So today I have learned even more about the person that I am and why I behaved as I did over Christmas.
I know that Kate has hurt me a lot and in the past this sort of friendship has been what I have hung onto. No matter what the consequences to my own health have been.
I realised that when I meet someone for the first time, and they do take an interest in me, and show that they like me, that I just jump in head first and don’t think about what they are offering me as a friend.
A true friendship works both ways, and isn’t all one sided.
In my C.B.T class today Zoë asked me what I really thought, and she asked many more questions.
I know I am not such a bad person, I have such great qualities and I know people do want me as a friend.
Abi, suggested writing Kate a letter explaining things, but Pam didn’t agree. Pam said that if it had been her friend and she had behaved like that she would have just forgotten about her.
Yes it’s easy to say things when it’s not your friend. But I expected so much more from Kate, and as in my childhood, I let things develop in a way that isn’t good.
I can’t say how I am going to handle going back to work and on seeing Kate, but I can say that I have to do a bit more thinking about it.
The rest of the day was really good,