17/10/07

 

So haven’t been around for a while, been taking a bit of a break, things have gotten on top of me big time.

Work is boring but am managing for now, felt ill today, light-headed, but I know its just as I aint eating enough, I don’t think I can carry on for much longer like this..

I am off on holiday next week, taking some time to be with Paul, and recharge my worn out batteries, only going to paington in Devon, but it will be a break from everything,

then I start with the specialist unit on the 29th, at 10am. Am really scared, but Paul is taking me, so I will just have to get on with it.

I have had so many offers of people to come with me, but I think I just have to do this on my own, it one of those things, maybe they just don’t think I will get the train and end up in the right place, or maybe they think I will walk round Manchester all day instead.

That’s not going to help me is it…?

No I will be going to the hospital, whether I like it or not…..

I need to get this sorted as if I don’t then I am going to end up being forced to, and put under medical supervision, and I don’t want that either.

I sound like a real nuttier don’t I, but I am not really, I just don’t want to eat anything, I can’t stand the thought of food, let alone the taste, everything is the same, and I really don’t want it.

I won’t survive without it though, god why couldn’t I just be an alcoholic or something, this is doing me head in….

Stewart, chris, Alex and Martin, I hope you are all well, have been thinking about you a lot even though I aint had much time to come see you. I hope you are all ok. And I hope to catch you soon…

Please take care all, love Dawn x

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