29/09/07

 

This week I have barely had the motivation to do anything, so haven’t been on here much, apart from to see what everyone else has been doing, so I thought I would just give a quick update.

I have been quite low in mood all week, but it has picked up from the week before. So that’s something positive, I am not looking forward to this week, as I will here from the hospital and I know then that I will have to do what they are asking, and my ed inside my head is saying not to and to deny everything that I am at the moment craving.

I still haven’t really looked at my script and the report back from New York. I should be excited and revved up to keep on moving forward, but I am not excited at all, and so I know something is really wrong. I know I am not the real me at the moment.

My Nan is not so good to, my mums Nan, the kind lady who puts us up every year for 8 weeks and doesn’t ask of anything, but a cooked meal at night, and some cleaning. (Lol) I love her to bits, but can see how she is deteriorating each week, she wants someone there all the time really and unless My mum and her brother can come up with something, I am afraid she will lose the house and end up in a home, and I really don’t want that.

I know its not long before we leave the caravan site, and we will be there, so I don’t think anything has to be decided until March next year, but I know for this year I really am going to have to keep pushing my mum, I think its one of those things she just cant admit to yet, but I saw how bad it was getting for her last year, and fear this year will defiantly be worse.

Im cooking at the moment, for my mum and step dad, Frank. They are coming up to spend the night, have a nice meal and a few drinks, watch a film, and chat about everything.

I am sure it will be good, but still there is food involved and I really don’t want to eat anything else today, it’s driving my nutty.

Umm what else is going on, not much really, I spent the day cleaning, and repairing everything, and doing a bit of reading. Paul has been fishing again, so am just waiting for everyone to arrive now.

Please take care everyone, Martin, Nex, Claire, Marcie, Stewart, and umm loads more.

Hope this week will be different and I can spend some time here.

Dawn xxx

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