Tag Archives: post nanowrimo

Jan 27 2013

Editing and my first page… :)

I wanted to share today how working with E.J changed my first page.

E.J asked me why I started my story there. My answer… because it ‘seemed’ the best place. It might change again yet. 🙂

 

Apparently I ‘Tell’ very well, but I don’t ‘Show’ enough. I can’t totally blame my lack of schooling for this, because I’ve read and read ‘how’ to books and been to college. But things sometimes don’t click with me.

This is what I had first written.  (teaser alert) lol

 

——————————— Extract from The Secret King – The Beginning – Chapter One – Evacuation

 

Kendro eased himself into his favourite chair. It creaked just as it always did and he wished he could take it with him. His office, empty, didn’t resemble home anymore. Sadness washed over him. It was over and they had to leave everything but their prized possessions behind.

The handmade wooden desk before him had been in his family for generations and he ran his hand along its surface until he found a tiny dent. He frowned and remembered the day he’d made that hole. The day Admiral Broki confirmed the fate of their Sun and he’d dropped a hot steaming mug of tea over everything. Now apart from the desk and set of chairs nothing else cluttered the room. All his belongings had been moved to the mother-ship. The furniture here deemed unimportant. Although why he’d deemed it unimportant shook him. These objects were a part of his history.

Resting his head in his arms, he closed his eyes just for a brief moment of thought. Were they going to survive the incredible journey ahead? Could they leave their solar system and their enemy the Zefron far behind them? He hoped so, or they wouldn’t have a future at all. His breathing slowed and he had to shake himself, to keep awake. He had to be strong enough to fight it off, at least for another twelve hours or so. He hadn’t had any sleep at all since the day he ordered the evacuation to begin, and he had started to feel the strain of being constantly awake. Sleep beckoned to him, but he fought it once again.

————————————-

With some work, this is what we ended up with. E.J helped me to understand the difference. And I know why I tend to tell instead of show. In script writing it is drummed into us to get rid of any words ending with an ‘ing’…  In novel writing I need to learn to embrace them.

 

——————————— NEW extract from The Secret King – The Beginning – Chapter One – Evacuation

 

Kendro eased himself into his favourite chair for the last time. Its joints creaked just as they always did; yet some things had to be sacrificed. His office, empty, didn’t resemble home anymore. Sadness washed over him. Life here was over. They must leave everything behind, even prized possessions.

The handmade wooden desk sprawled before him; in his family for generations, the history it must have witnessed. He ran his hand along its surface until he found the tiny dent. Remembering the day he’d made that hole, a year ago. The day Admiral Broki confirmed the fate of their Sun. Kendro’d dropped a hot mug of tea over everything. The electronics of the huge desk sparked and crackled, a preview of the fate of the planet once the sun fed on itself; nothing would survive.

Now apart from the desk and set of chairs nothing else cluttered the room. All his belongings had been moved to the mother-ship. The furniture here deemed unimportant. Although why he’d deemed them unimportant shook him. These objects were a part of his history.

Resting his head in his arms, Kendro closed his eyes for just a brief moment of thought. His people must survive this incredible journey ahead. Could they leave their solar system and their enemy the Zefron far behind them? He hoped so, or they wouldn’t have a future at all.

His breathing slowed and he shook himself, to keep awake. He had to be strong enough to fight, to remain functional for at least another twelve hours. Awake for three days now, no sleep at all since he ordered the evacuation, Kendo felt the strain of being conscious too long. Sleep beckoned, but he fought it once again.

——————————-

 

The difference is quite amazing isn’t it?

 

I’ve had fin this weekend. Researching and learning, and more importantly for me, trying to implement the lessons I learned with E.J.

 

I gave it my best shot and although I’m not comfortable just yet with the ‘ing’ words, I can see and feel why they make things better.

 

This might take me a little longer than I first planned. But, I will get there.  🙂

I wanted to ‘show’ you all what the difference working with someone makes to your work. And at present, I am thrilled to be working with someone who is patient, professional and brilliant.

 

Huge thanks to E.J 🙂 Please check her out…. http://ejrunyon.wordpress.com/ but don’t all try and nab her at once…. lol

 

Happy writing all.

 

Dawn 🙂 x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jan 19 2013

Editing :)

I’ve been thinking a lot about this post. And I hope that I can organise it so that it will be of benefit to any writer who is like myself. A pantser…

Anyway here are several things that have helped me when ‘editing’ my own work.

Of course it hasn’t been an easy job, but a very worthwhile one. As the comments coming in now just on the first two chapters are looking promising. At least from all the writer and beta readers. It has yet to go to the professional I hope to be working with over the next couple months etc. at

http://ejrunyon.wordpress.com/

I guess on that count I’ll have to report in on ‘what it is like to work with a mentor/editor’ 🙂 another time of course.

But for now here is my editing process.

1, print off a ‘rough copy’ and of course save that copy as a draft. Make no mistake you could delete something later that you want back. So always a good idea to keep several drafts throughout the process.

2, Leave it alone for a while. Ideally a few weeks, but when you are itching to get going this isn’t always possible.

3, Set yourself a small attainable goal for each day. As with Nanowrimo it is good to have a goal, so I set a daily one. To edit through as much of the novel on a ‘pass’ each day.

These ‘passes’ would be for ‘bad’ word phrasing. There is such a long list that I could accomplish a few of these each day, so that really helped.

I’d suggest looking up these words. A general search from google will give you a whole list of sites which list these. I won’t because it would make this post huge!

Okay, okay, here are a few. Just so you know what to look out for. These were my biggest overused words.

was
look
feel
like
nodding
walking
huge, large, small,
really

I said the list could really, go on and on.

Don’t get me started on ‘clichés’ either… they drive me crazy in reading other peoples writing, so I try and avoid those like the plague. (They still slip in now and again though)

There are sites which can help with this too. http://www.grammarly.com/ and another I discovered called ‘smartedit’ all these types of programs help with the editing process. And I’ve also found them enlightening too.

I would recommend both. 🙂

4, To work with other writers and readers. Find a group of people, some perhaps you’ve known for a while and others which you don’t know. Ask them to be readers, and to report back. They can help you spot things that your writing ‘eye’ can’t.

5, This is the last and utmost important part of the process. Hire an editor! You will need someone to go through your work on a professional level.

As a writer you cannot, cannot put work out there which is sub par. I’ve used a couple of editors over the last few years. Because my grammar and punctuation (mostly the comma) let me down.

I’ve had some ‘publishers’ trying to rush my process and one even wanted to publish my writing without it being edited by a pro, in the end I withdrew from their publication because I wouldn’t do that to myself. The last thing I would ever want is to be ridiculed for lack of my knowledge on the above.

I know my weaknesses, do you?

If you don’t, you need to find them and then work with them. But, don’t let yourself down by not doing the best that you can.

Over the last few years, I’ve learned more and more about grammar and punctuation, but I just can’t grasp it. My writing has improved to no end. But, it still isn’t perfect. I like it to be as perfect as I can get it, then I let a pro work their magic. Eventually, it can be free for the world to see. 🙂

Now what I’d like you to do, any writer who reads my post, please add your ‘bad’ habits. My intention is to make a file, then if anyone requests it. I can wiz it over.

Please feel free, or send me an email of your best ones. I love to learn and the more I read and experience the more I absorb.

Happy writing/editing…

Dawn x

Jan 10 2013

Tough first week…

Hi everyone.

It has been a tough week and this has reflected on everything I’ve been doing.

Work is slow, which makes the day drag, I love my customers, love seeing them to chat even for a brief moment while they buy their lunch, but it’s a drag for them, and it’s the same for me. They’re all suffering with January blues and it makes me feel even worse too. 😦

Anyway, last night I went to a gent’s house to do a pond visit. He put a message up on the forum I help mod and seeing as he bought pond equipment off me last year, and lived local, I offered to take a look at his fish.

Paul took me up there, Liverpool isn’t too far away, but I don’t like new places in the dark. lol, we had dinner in a local pub which was really nice and then went to visit the pond.

Catching fish in the dark, wasn’t so easy for him, but we caught two.

When you first look into a strange pond. There are several tell tail signs which your looking for.

How the fish are reacting to you being there?

How are they swimming?

and when caught how docile are they?

what the mucus scrape looks like when you first take it?

to be fair his fish were quite responsive, they were for the most part swimming about okay, one or two were a little lopsided though so that was the first indicator.

The second to me was the mucus sample we took. It was grey and thick.

A healthy fish has an almost clear sample. This wasn’t.

So, really I knew I was looking for something under the scope, I just wasn’t so sure what I’d find.

The first sample was from a sanke, it had pinked shiro (white skin) and stress veins showing. Under the scope, it also had flukes…

First one done. Looking over the slide, probably around 20 flukes.

Second scrape came from a Magoi, much bigger than the first, and although it should have been a rich black, was greying with over producing mucus.

Again this had flukes on, (skin flukes I believe)

But I also found a few Chilodonella as well.

I carried on looking for about 30 mins, checking both slide again to make sure I wasn’t missing anything smaller, like Costia, but even though I thought I saw the odd, tiny movement, I couldn’t spot anything else.

Job done. And I left, at least knowing he could treat the pond correctly and his fish would soon be much happier. 🙂

—————————-

On the writing side of things this week.

I’ve read a lot, and I’ve edited a lot of the first three chapters of TSK – The beginning. I’ve also had some very good crits back from the nano website and from the OWWSFF which is a crit site specifically for sci fi, fanstasy and horror writers.

I finally think the first three chapters are getting there. Only another 26 to go… lol.

Looking forward to the weekend.

How are you all doing? Busy, slow, what’s your first full week back at work etc like?

Take care and speak soon.

Dawn

Dec 21 2012

Holidays here we come :)

So, I haven’t needed to quite blog as I have… Although I do really want to keep up with everything and every one.

Today was the last day of work. A nice break now from the humdrum of like as a delivery driver.

To be truthful I really haven’t been looking forward to any of it.

I didn’t want to put the deccies up… I just wanted to hide away.

It’s been a tough financial month. Hubby hasn’t been at work, so wages are next to nothing and that means no extras, or well no anything this year.

I didn’t even give out any Xmas cards and that really isn’t like me.

However, I’ve had a little bit of cheer today. Some of my lovely customers gave me enough of a tip to be really happy. And I also received a huge box of veggies for Xmas day. 🙂 So chuffed it is unreal.

You see, before I even knew what we were doing for Xmas day, I invited my dad and his new wife over. They’re in a bit of a mess with their storm damaged house and well my mum is working.

This is the first ever Xmas I’ve had my dad over. So kind of a big deal.

But, then the crap hit the fan at Paul’s work and well no cash meant no nice Xmas dinner.

It has been saved. 🙂

Writing wise, I’ve done okay. Edited up to Chapter 9… about 100 pages. This is only the first pass. Will be several more before it is even anywhere near ready for anyone other than some nice alfa and beta readers. I am really happy with how it is developing, and there are so many little changes to it that tie in with the TV series, so it is working out fab.

I have lots to do this weekend.

Time to catch up on some sleep too. I need that.

Catch you all soon…

Dawn x

Dec 17 2012

I wanna scream and shout…

and let it all out!!!!!

Word count from 76,484 to 80,819

Today’s count 4335

FINITO!!!!!

Today I wrote the most amazing finale ever. (Come on if I can’t be excited about it, who can)

And writing those last two words was the most amazing feeling ever!!!

I am so thrilled to have finished this one, and yes of course I am sad too.

I posted on facebook this afternoon about the type of ending people like to read. And for the most part everyone wanted me to be true to the characters and to the story. So I was.

I am going to be of course open to suggestions when the beta readers get it.

I am sitting now, enjoying a pear cider. Then I think I need to sleep for about a week!!!

Next job, the big spell check and proof, then first print off.

🙂

But for tonight. I celebrate….

x x x x x