Saying Goodbye

Today is a day where we get to say goodbye to a very close old family friend. Ronnie Docker.

It is not going to be a good day.

It will be, however, a day of reflection and one of many assaults on all my senses.

This year has been one of the worst for a few reasons. This being one of them. I don’t deal with death, or dying very well at all. It’s something I can’t see. Like literally I can’t see.

It might seem cold, and it isn’t. I just can’t deal with it. When my nan died on my dad’s side. She’d been very ill for a long time. I loved going to see them. But, the more she deteriorated, the more I couldn’t cope, in her last few weeks. Both Paul and my dad tried to get me to visit but I couldn’t.

Anorexia and depression already had me in it’s horrible grips as I was awaiting my call to go to Cheadle Royal hospital.

It was at her funeral that the beast took hold completely and over the next few months I lost around more weight than I should have. That day took me back to my earlier years you see, when my grandad died, to where I was being bullied at school left right and centre.

I don’t ever pertain to understand the complex way my mind works. Or in the how I deal with things. I don’t deal with some things very well at all, and that voice in my head just takes over instead. It is what it is. A coping mechanism for feeling.

I am where I am today because of those people and the ED that made me internalise all the things
hateful things anyone ever said.

Today, I am going to allow myself to feel. I am going to say goodbye to a gentleman who brought many things to my life. From your cantankerous old ways to the laughter and fun.

I know who I am, I will remember where I have come from, I will not go backwards, I will be okay.

Ron, where ever you are, be happy. We will miss you lots and lots.

~ Dawn

Week 3 of broken Elbow

I can say the pain is a tad bit easier. Although it’s pretty sore first thing in the morning and worst at night. 

Lying awake staring at the ceiling listening to traffic go past isn’t much fun. 

But I am getting more movement in my wrist. Not too sure if there was initial damage there. Something I’ll have to ask the fracture clinic, as I’ve noticed more and more pain in my lower wrist where it struck the floor. Turning my arm upwards is pretty much still impossible. I get this cracking pop and it hurts, so I’m only doing so many in the day. 

For me, personal things are the worst. Still can’t put on underware. I’m in hubby’s T-shirts as they’re easier to get on, and bathing… sheesh not a chance. Can get in the bath, but not out. I’m like a decrepid old woman. And I feel it too. 

I don’t mind showers, but when you’re feeling crappy it’s nice to have a bath. Not at present. 

 

I’m finding it difficult in the ‘hobby’ side of things too. Not being able to write/edit as much as I’d like has to be a writers worst nightmare. Normally if I can’t write, I do something else creative. But my ‘other’ hobbies are out the window too. 

Normally I can cross stitch for hours, and have been putting some things for a charity I support. 

http://www.parrot-rescue.org.uk/portalid/0/Home/tabid/36/Default.aspx

 

Here are a couple of pictures of my stitching for them. In the hopes it will help raise funds to keep unwanted/abused birds in the veterinary treatment they need. 

 

Image

 

Unfinished but hope it will make a nice pin cushion 🙂 When I can stitch again. 

 

Just frustrating when you can’t do anything !! 

 

Uggghhh, here’s my lil Bobby though, he’s been great company while I’ve been home. Getting cheekier by the day though. At present I’m trying to get him used to being touched. Sometimes I get to feel his tail and place my finger on his back, but he’s not keen and flies away. I am starting to be able to get near his beak without him biting. Although this morning proved he still has the upper hand when instead of going for the treat, he bit my finger instead, sometimes cranky when he first wakes up. 

 

Image

 

His ‘Black Ring’ is showing really well now. He’s a beautiful boy, and he defo knows it too. 🙂 

 

This has taken me all morning to put together, so I’d better wrap it up. 

I’ve been plotting for Nanowrimo. Although not too sure I’ll take part this year. I’ve still TSK – The Beginning to finish, without starting the next, lol 

 

Catch you soon. Hope you have a wonderful week. 

 

Dawn 

Been a while… so busy with projects

Hey everyone,

So it has indeed been a good while, but it has been some happy times. Along with lots of hard work. Writing is re-writing isn’t it?

I am involved with a few projects at the moment. All very exciting and moving along at a good pace.

Please check out IROBE written by myself and Melvin Johnson Jr.

I met Melvin on a script writing site called Zhura in 2007. We became fast friends and have grown as writers along the way. This is our first written script together although we have been helping each other out along the way. He is a great writer with lots of experience and I was honoured to work with him on  something we both believed in.
We’ve also been  asked to write together a new web-series, but early days on this. I hope to post some more on it when I can. 🙂
And, The Pandoran Chronicles currently in underwriting for funding.

I  am also co-screen writer with Dante D’Anthony on this fantastic CGI animation franchise.

http://www.pandoranagechronicles.com/   check out the ‘Team’ members some great names in there and some even more amazing artwork.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Pandoran-Age-Chronicles/331690376852755

Please drop by these pages and let me know what you think, like it, share it, you know I’ll do the same for you…Thanks :)

Let this year be the best for all of us here, and I’ll continue to push http://www.talentville.com out there as well, as it has put me in contact with some of the most supportive and talented people ever.

It hooked me up with a cool guy who is helping me bring some animated life to The Secret King.

I never thought much about CGI or what you could do in animation compared to ‘real live’ films. However, Jaime has converted me into believing that it really could look awesome done this way.

So, we’re creating the main characters, working on the story world and going to put together an  animation short film or teaser to shoot the festivals next year.

It is all really exciting for me and it has been a long time coming. Finally. 🙂 I am stoked.

Regarding the koi,  I’ve just got rid of 120 so  the rest (the best have more room to grow) It had to be done, and I know the last few (100) are going to be amazing.

Busy, busy.
On to  some more work. Catch you all soon.
Dawn