Yeah, this weekend sucked just as much as the whole of last week did and the ones before it… all of them.

In fact all of 2013 altogether sucks.

I got up at 7am yesterday worked through all the paperwork ready for this ‘4 hour phone call’ from the bank.

I sat and waited.

And waited.

It never came.

I ended up ringing the bank up to try and track who was supposed to ring me. Seeing as our branch was closed I spoke to a gentleman on the phone and he couldn’t work out anything either. So I ran down to our bank and it was indeed closed.

All the time, I’m getting more and more frustrated with them.

Get’s back home and I rang the southport branch. I spoke to a lovely lady who tried her utmost to help me out. She got in touch with the mortgage advise team who couldn’t find this ‘supposed appointment’ and then when we started to go through the paperwork they wanted to deal with my mum and only my mum.

The whole idea behind going into the bank to start the ball rolling was so that the person who rang me would speak to me. As my mum had just finished 4 12 hour shifts and couldn’t foucs to talk to anyone.

So, I’m even more frustrated then, because the guy on the phone then can’t deal with the application as all the other opperatives and appointments were taken for the day. We would have to make another appointment where mum could deal with it all. And it wouldn’t be for another two weeks.

Now I’m getting beyond frustrated I am very angry now. And I tell him this isn’t on. We’ll have waited a whole month to start this. No way. So I basically said we’d talk about it and decide later. I said good bye.

The lovely lady from Southport rang me back in the afternoon to ask how it had gone. 🙂 I told her how dissapointed I was with the whole company and she promised she would try and get me an appointment to speak with their branch mortgage advisor this week. We’ll see she is going to ring me back tomorrow.

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In other news, the baby koi are coming around really well. But the big fish didn’t look so hot so in feeding them today. My best fish wouldn’t eat. Defo not like her.

Microscope out. Couldn’t get a scrape from the top of the fish, in turning it over noticed some raised scales and took a scrape from there.

Costia….

Again…..

Trying my best now to get the pond temp up so that I can treat them with meds. Not going to happen till Tues I don’t think.  Then might have to hit them again over the weekend. We’ll see how they deal with the pp this time around I know the sorogori didn’t like it so might have to isolate her and treat the others.

Will also have to keep an eye on the sanke and his raised scales. PP and then couple of salt baths will help there I think. There was no major redness but they were defo sticking out a bit. It will only get worse if left alone. And don’t want that.

I have been beaten down so much this last few weeks. I’m going to crack.

I have heartburn and acid indigestion all the time. I’m stressed to the hilt and it’s taking it’s toll on everything.

I told Paul last week that I was going to see the doctor about it. I am going to have to see the doctor about this overwhelming spit of depression that has lasted for 6 mths or more and isn’t lifting either.  I am going to request going back on anti-depressants for the time being.

I already asked in work could I possibly take a little time off to deal with the mortgage issue and appointments. Mum is off work Thurs and Fri so I am going to aim to get as much in then as possible. Including the docs.

This is a really testing time for me. I’ve not allowed myself too much time to process everything. And I’m on the brink of it really turning nasty.

I don’t want it too…

So, I’m making the steps so tackle it. Before it goes all pear shaped.

I won’t be beaten and I’ll bounce back. But I think I need a little help at the moment. I’m not afraid to ask, so I will.

Trying to edit at the moment is also like hitting my head against a brick wall. I know I am feeling bad when I lose the will to write or edit something that I love.

I was hoping this year was going to be a good one. It certainly hasn’t started off so great. sigh….

Catch you soon.

Dawn x x