Oct 10 2004

10/10/04

 

heheheh well I was so so tired last night couldnt come on here, I had been up since 330 and had a long and wonderful day,

 

Meeting Bex was amazing, she is an absoloute star, at first I think I did most of the talking but i broke the ice so to speak,

 

A funny story I must say is this, I got to the train station and needed the toilet so on finding them realised they were locked, and I then got on the train when it arrived, I did not know there would be a toilet on the train, and waited 2 hours to get to leeds before I had to go, poor Bex, we met in wh smiths and I ran off to find the loo, I was bursting, didnt even get to give her a hug. awwwww but she did get a good one when we got to a coffee shop.

 

Bex I had the most wonderful day and I hope it was as good for you as it was for me,

 

You are a very special and beautiful inside and out, and I love ya more now than ever, and I really consider you my sister now, I am stuck to you like glue from now on.

 

I cant wait to see you again.

 

The whole day was wonderful and I cried a little on the train on the way home, I so wanted to stay with you, and it seemed to go really quickly,

 

We both did amazing yesterday managing lunch together, and I am so so proud of us both.

Love you hun and I hope to speak to you very soon

(((((((((((((((Bex))))))))))))))))))))

Dawn xxxxxx

By kanundra • Posted in Hope
0
Oct 9 2004

09/10/04

 

((((((everyone)))))))

Umm awake at 330, and umm cant sleep wonder why, lol cause I will be off to see Bex soon, its not that I am nervous honestly just had some horrible nightmares about getting lost and not being able to find her, oh well, I know I wont get lost but umm am not so sure about some of the other stuff, as some of it was rather funny, anyways dont you worry I am taking my camera with me and will get some photos, even if they are of me getting lost,

 

I just wanted to say a big huge thankyou for everyone here, I cant name you all as there are so many of us now, but each and everyone of you has helped me in some way or another,

It has been 3 months without purging, and I have amazed myself, as not only am I maintaining a weight I am okish with but I am eating better than I ever have and feeling more positive for my future, so many things are going right at the moment I keep waiting for them to all crumble again, but I hope that they wont,

 

I am stronger than I ever have been, and that is all down to you impressivly loving and caring ladies/gents here. Through all our suffering we have come together to become strong with each other and keep on fighting, there is happiness out there, for all of us I believe it with all my heart.

 

It may take us different amounts of time to get there but I know that we can, within ourselves is something we dont have to be scared of, something we can love, our natural beautiful selves, and one day I hope we all reach our goals, no matter how long it takes me through struggles and good times, I will be here for you all, I love YOU ALl, and nothing is ever going to stop that, and I will always be around.

 

Sometimes its so hard for us to find a reason to go on, the pain inside is too much and we cant see a way out, this site for me has been a way out, and with each of you by my side, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter,

 

Please believe we can do this, never give in, and if bad times are taking its toll come here, and tell us, let the pain out instead of keeping it inside where it festers into more.

 

Thankyou all so so so so much, think I will leave you now, umm lots more stuff to do, am leaving for train station in about umm 40 mins, oops, and want a nice cup of tea first.

Love you

(((((((((((((huggies))))))))))))

Dawn

Xxxxx

Oct 8 2004

08/10/04

Feelings

The thoughts and feelings going on inside your brain,

I know are driving you insane,

But no matter how hurt you are,

To me you are a gold star,

All I want is you to keep shining, even though you feel like dying.

Know this pain will go away, and you will be free some day.

For I am around you in thought, to help your spirit when your caught,

To break those chains of torment and smash those great shoes of cement.

No longer will you drown,

rise up breath in life do not frown.

Life is so precious and so are you, no more will you feel blue.

You have me and our friendships true.

copyright Dawn chapman8th October 2004

Oct 4 2004

04/10/04

Patience

Look deep into my mirror this is what you’ll see,
This cheap and awful ugly thing looking back at thee.

I am the alter ego wanting to be set free,
Locked inside, forever this alternate reality.

But there in the corner is a tiny crack, and chip away forever if I must
I will bring you back

The mirror is a doorway where we can merge
No longer will we wake tired and on the verge

A lasting friendship is all we need
Hold hands to bring out the sunshine and fulfil our dreams

It’s not much to want good to come our way

But looking in the mirror you just don’t see

This beautiful girl a waiting patiently.

Dawn Chapman 4th October 2004.

Mirror

I looked into the mirror this morning, and what did I see?
A beautiful girl looking back at me.

I have to look twice, to see that it’s me.
But the inner child cries still, it is not me.

I have to nurture her and coax her to stop crying,
Tell her to look again, for a third time she will see,

There really is a beautiful girl looking back at me.

Dawn Chapman 4st October 2004


By kanundra • Posted in poem
0
Oct 4 2004

04/10/04

Good

Think of all the good you can achieve,

It would make sense if only you believed,

This inner pain I know you want to scream and shout

it really would do you good to just let it out.

The hurt sometimes inside of you is too much for you to bare,

All you want is to end it all, you dont care,

All  you need to do hunnie, is hold out your hand

I will take it and guide you to that far off land.

You really dont have to sink by yourself any more,

I am here to hold your hand and comfort you for sure

I am thinking again of all the good and brilliance you really can achieve,

Come on hunnie,  please you must believe,

copyright Dawn Chapman, 4th October 2004.