Yeah,

so how have things been, well really weird really,

I don’t know but there is this person, who is inside me coming back.

I am having more fun; I am planning things, and enjoying them!!!!

Paul and I went into Southport on sat to have some drinks in a bar come club, with my friends, and you know what, it was great.

I danced most of the night away with my friend’s sister and brother, and really enjoyed it.
The guy from work Andy even turned up, which I was utmost shocked about, and he dropped us off home afterwards, as he wasn’t drinking.

I have a lot planned for this weekend, and am looking forward to tomorrow; I hope we finish really early as Im having a party. YEY.

Hope everyone is really great.

Dawn xx

So I thought today was going to be the start of a good week.

Yeah was I kidding myself….

The weekend was great, had a fantastic night out on Friday…

Got a little bit too drunk, and did a few silly things, suffered all day on Saturday.

Am sorry but I wasted my time sooo much today, in seeing my new counsellor, she told me she couldn’t help me so referred me to someone else, that means more waiting around.

I am so upset with myself, and disappointed with the system, it really really does suck sometimes.

Anyways, moan over am going to console myself, with a bottle of something, a porn movie and a good time…

I deserve something to make me smile.

Night night.
xxx

Wow I can finally say I am am back,

Its been a tough few months, and I am now settled back at home, and have finally got my internet sorted by going back to dial up, broadband just wasn’t having any of it at my house, so I am tying up the phone line but I don’t care, at least I hopefully wont have any problems.

So how are things with everyone, I know I aint been around but the site really has changed, a lot more people seem to be only after the dating thing.

Maybe I am the only one who comes here to moan and talk about my shit.

Anyways, had a sort of good week so far, work has been interesting as usual and at least I went out for a bit last night, haven’t been into doing much at the moment, am finding a lot of things pretty hard, especially food. Paul will be due home any minute and be expecting his tea, I am not having anything as I did eat a lot in work today, Monika brought me some homemade polish pasta dish, and I ate my sandwich too, so that is enough for today, if I eat anything else, I will only feel really bad and probably be sick so I am not having anything.

I know it doesn’t solve the problem but I have really done ok today, and yesterday, so will take the next few days as they come.

I am trying my best to get ed sorted, and am going back to the docs for some counselling again, a different one this time, she focuses on the present and not the past, so maybe this will help a little more than last time, as although talking about the past helped me deal with all the abuse and stuff I went through it didn’t really help me deal with food or some of the stuff that was going on in the present.

Take care of yourselves and one another.

Dawn xxx

So me, lol, I don’t know what’s going on, my head is a mess, but I know I will get there.

I am sad and happy in a sense….

Where have all my viewings gone….

Love ya

Dawn
xxx

So could life be getting any easier, I think not? Wow, have I been in for a shite ride.

First after hurting my leg, I had an amazing two weeks off, chilled out and did some great writing, managed to write my first feature length film, yey. And I loved every minute of it. I fell in love with the characters and the world I had created, and when I had finished the script, I felt like I had lost my best friend.
Its weird I know, but it actually hurt.

Anyways, I have since learned that our caravan has to be moved and that means the whole of our beautiful garden has to come up. We aren’t sure what plot of land we will end up with, who our neighbours will be and more importantly how much compensation we will get.

The next knock down, is the company I work for made an announcement this morning that they have sold us out, to someone else, I am gutted, and I thought it was quiet but it always is in Jan and Feb, but they seemed to think that was the best option for them…. What the hell is going on in my life, I just don’t know what to think or where to turn toooooo…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I feel so useless, yes they said our jobs are safe but who can say that?

I just don’t know what to think, today is the first time I have made myself sick in a while, and I feel completely worthless. Ed always finds the worst situations to try and win you back and so I did. I turned back like the stupid woman I am, and now I feel so much worse, I also restricted badly today and then it made me worse as when I did eat, I just didn’t want it inside me.

Why is it that I feel so crap? Because life has just been sooo shit, I don’t know what I did in a past life but it really must have been bad. What could I have possibly done?

I know I am rambling on, but I am still in pain with my hand and my ankle is swollen still too, everything has gone wrong, and what next will it be.

Sorry for such a negative post here, I just can’t say anything else.

Love to ya all

Dawn
xxx