Pain and ED in my head :(

So this week has been awful to say the least. Pain like I’ve not had since I broke my ribs.

Inconvenience like you wouldn’t believe. 

I went to see the Fracture Clinic on thursday, hubby took me. I was in there for around 10 mins and was called in. The doctor couldn’t even see the fracture on the picture before him, omg and then went about manipulating my arm too much. 

 

I was in terrible pain afterwards, and excruciating pain all night and into early hours of yesterday. It eased off a little, but it doesn’t feel the same, I don’t have the same amount of movement with it, and I hate to say it but last night got pins and needles in it too 😦 So I am thinking back to my doctor’s first thing on Monday as it should be getting better, not worse. 

 

For me the worst part is no sleep, and being alone most of the day with out being able to type properly or do things. 😦 I’m finding it very depressing and not to mention I’m probably piling weight on. This is freaking me out, big time!!! ED although silent for so many years is screaming at me now. I think I need to talk to my doctor about this on Monday too, I’m highly anxious and feel if I don’t start to do some exercise, or something, walking, anything then being home like this will drive me off the deep end again. 

 

The break is not the issue, the issue is now that I really want to return to being anorexic 😦 awake at night I am constantly thinking of ways I can avoid eating around my husband. And plotting things to do which are really bad for me 😦 

 

I want to hide away, but this isn’t going anywhere. I need to bounce back, but fear I can’t do this one on my own, so I am going for some assistance as soon as I can. 

 

Thanks for listening. 

 

D x x 

 

 

 

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6 comments on “Pain and ED in my head :(

  1. You are never alone hun we all battle demons from our past and anorexia is one of those battles that always rears it ugly head when we are weak or down that is the only way that he can sneak back in and take control. I am glad that you are going to get help but remember that you have people that care about you and are here for you. You have been a supporter of me during my down times and I am always here for you when you need a friend. Stay strong hun xx

  2. Big hugs. Hope the pain has been sorted out, there is nothing worse that constant, unrelenting pain. Therefore the fact that you posted is amazing – not only this but that you are also aware that demons are creeping back in and you need to ask for help…much admiration. You’re facing that fear and I’m honestly in awe. You’ve had such a tough month, yet here you are still being an inspiration, reminding us we can’t all do it on our own.
    Honesty is a huge part of facing issues like ED and such like, not just with yourself but also with loved ones. The fact that you’re willing to be so honest here is a great feat. Respect is well deserved.
    Keep going, you can make it. We’re here to listen if you need us. X

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