I have had a rather crap week today. made slightly worse by some comment from a person i had just met.
Why are some people so bad with things, why do they have to say something so stupid, This voice inside my head is having a field day and its worked, I have managed to go without my tea, and no one knows but me…. well and everyone here now.
The thing is I feel so much better for it, I dont feel guilty for hiding it, and I want to carry on. Yet i have the hospital tomorrow and i get to see Shirly as well and i know she wont be happy knowing I have been struggling and have had no one to turn to.
I have had people i just havent felt like i could share things.
I feel sooo fat, and ugly and i know i have put on sooo much weight, that its noticible in my face, and I really am unhappy about it. So upset that all i want to do is revert back to ed, and never ever let anyone make me eat again. I know you have to eat, but i so dont want to.
I think i am just having a really bad day, and i might be able to turn it round and make headway again tomorrow, but I dont want to i really dont.
This is just a moan, as I feel so crap.
I wont let it turn backwards but i really really do need to lose those few pounds again. 10lb since xmas isnt a lot, but when you hate it so much it really is a lot, it might as well be 10 stone as its so huge……
Umm moan over.
Love ya alll