12/04/08

Am going to put this here, as I don’t know what else to do for the moment, I want to be able to write, how I am feeling, and this is the best time.

Today I have experienced one of the worst things in my life, one of my friends, who I have only known 6mths, had a seizure today. She was absolutely fine one minute talking to K the dietition, about osteoporosis and then she just said “I don’t feel well” she went all flushed and C asked did she want the toilet, She got up wobbled a bit sat back down, By this C was in front of her talking to her, she seemed to look away towards the window, but her expression was blank, she had no idea what was going on, the next thing she was as stiff as a board and the nurse was lifting her to the floor. We all left the room but could hear everything that was going on in there. She wasn’t responding to anything, her name she was making awful sounds.

I was terrified and so were the other girls. I thought that was it, she was going to die, her anorexia had taken its toll on her and her body had given up.

It seemed like forever that they were in there and when the Dr came it was worse as they moved her to the room next to us where we could hear even more.

They shut the door on us, and we were left shell shocked.

I have never seen anything like it in my life, and I was so scared for her life.

Eventually she seemed to come round a bit, but couldn’t still remember anything, by this time Shirley our TA therapist had shown up and we were all sat back in the dining room talking to her.

I felt so sick, sick to my stomach. I know of course an ed can kill you, but to see something like this really brought it home. I was horrified.

Talking with the others helped a bit, but I am still as upset now as I was before. Of course now I am sat in the station waiting to go home.

I can say one thing though, being hungry on the train and having to wait an hour for the next one, made me come up stairs to kfc and I have sat down and eaten a chicken burger and fries.

I know I cant let this afternoon scare me into not eating again, so I should be proud of myself. I have managed something I wouldn’t have even dreamed about a few months ago.

For a start I am on my own, and writing on my laptop, and I never would have done that either.

I think I have had enough for now, save it for the train on the way home. Maybe I can do some more on my story.
D xx

I have recuperated a little since thursday but it was an awful experience. I hope she really will be ok, i have had a few texts from her already. Am praying for her.

Other than that just a huge hug for you, all,

Dawn xx

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