25/01/08

 

Ok so yesterday I really did have a bad day, but I didn’t not eat, I managed three meals, I had breackfast some lunch, and a snack; then dinner. It took me all my time to do it, but I managed it so I do feel better.

 

I had a busy day yesterday even though I didn’t go to the hospital. I got rid of loads of things of ours, and took the last few bits of stuff to the tip. There is still a fire and a few rugs that I don’t want but hey, I’ve done ok for now.

 

Most of our clothes are in suitcases and there is a suitcase full of bedding. The drawers are full of clothes now, and its just a case of waiting.

 

I spoke to Claire a bit last night, and she gets the same impression that I do that my mum is now trying to skrimp and scrape to get this project off the ground.

 

To be honest, yes of course there are things I do want to buy, and as I found out last night, my mum rang Paul up paniking in case I went out and spent loads of money.

 

The thing is yes there are things I want. Like a new laptop and the excersise machine, I’d love a new dining table and chairs, but I know for a while it aint going to happen.

 

My mum and brother need to get their arses into gear and get Gerry sorted out, and a mortgage, other wise I think we will be leaving.

 

My mum is still going on a bout getting a mortgage and paying off the caspital, but to be honest, I don’t want to do that, and probably cant afford it. We only have 450 a month to pay for the rent and that’s as far as I am willing to go. I think she has this idea again that we will all move into here, but we said that wont work, so its not an option.

 

As far as I am concerned now, the ball lies in their court, Paul and I have done our part we have sold up and moved out, and believe me that was so so hard. I am finding it really weird, the idea of not going back to our van scares me something wicked.

 

The next few steps should be to go and see Gerry, agree on a price. Then go and sort out the mortgage…

 

Simple, yeah but not that simple… we also need to get the plans drawn up on what we want the house to look like, and that is entirely up to mum and chris, so they need to DECIDE.

 

Its doing my head in….

 

The granny flat is going to cost a lot of money, but what building doesn’t.

 

I’m sorry but until this is sorted my head is going to be a right mess.

 

I just don’t know if I am coming or going… If we are going then, the money I get I will spend on some of the nicer things, like what I want, and in a place that I want to. I will rent a house and do it as I please and sod them…

 

Anyways, apart from that, the house is looking nice now. I have to say that its been hard, but worth it. Paul has the pond in and wired up, so at least the fish are ok, we lost one fish though it stressed out and died. Bless.

 

I also went to hip hop class last night with Claire, and I really enjoyed it. The warm up was actually harder than the dancing but that is only as I can’t remember which steps come next so I am finding it hard to follow. I will get there, I have set my mind to it.

 

I am not as unfit as I thought I was.

 

I’m going horse riding on Tuesday as well and am looking forward to that….

 

Oops forgot to say I can now do 20 sit ups…. Am a bit sore after but I think I am getting there.

 

Anyways as for today, and this weekend, once again its going to be busy.

 

I’m opening a bank account with mum today and then going to visit Pat for a massage, and then I’m meetingSianand Noel later at The Hayfield for a meal and a few drinks. Am really looking forward to seeing her but I think she will be asleep on us lol…

 

Then sat we are going toSouthport, and then to sort out the caravan once and for all… Clean and sign it away…

 

OH MY GOD

 

Yeah busy…

 

Speak soon all. Love to ya…

 

Dawn xx

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