Ummm yeah it’s not easy at the moment, this morning I felt like exploding, I had anger inside me for so many reasons, I am feeling really really down at the moment, and I cant or don’t want to let myself get to upset over my nan…

The funeral is next Wednesday and I am not looking forward to it… The last time I saw all my family was at their reunion and it was amazing, I think all of us knew then the next time we would see each other would be at her funeral…

I am so glad though she got to see everyone one last time… all my cousins from America and Australia flew over to be there and there was a huge card for all of us to sign, it really was an amazing party.

I am going to be online most of tonight, Paul is off to play snooker and I don’t want to sit there and watch so will get on with some writing and be chatting to people…

I don’t want to let myself get to upset, as I really don’t want to self harm and at the moment have been thinking about it a lot.

I do have my appointment next week so even though I aint looking forward to it, I know it will really help me, in regards to grieving for my Nan…

Take care Dawn xxx