Yeah this weeks been a bit better, be even better when its Friday tomorrow.

My husband has decided on his holiday next year, he’s taking two weeks in April off, one to spend with me the other to go fishing, so I said thanks for wanting to talk about it, so any one fancies taking me away.. God I am really pissed off.

I aint going to get to Poland in feb seeing as he has planned this, and then Kate will probably be annoyed with me and not speak to me again…

Why do men do these things… do they just not think….?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh….. I wish for so many things, I wish that I was just a normal person with normal problems and not make everything out to be sooo bad, and that it’s all just me, am I sooo damn ugly that everything has to go wrong…

I hate the way Ed makes me feel about everything and everyone I love and care for. It ruins everything and I hate it I hate me and I hate the fact that it’s destroying all I know…

I am this person who loves to do things creative but it all holds me back… why?

Yes I am sorry I am a real person with an inner battle going on, I am a woman, who doesn’t think she is sexy or nice, and everything I do is horrible…

Why should I bother,

because I have to, I have to keep going, I DO….

Speak soon, Im done in….


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