20/09/06

Well Ed won,

and I am the stupid one, all week I have been listneing to him, begging me to come back and I did, and I feel so much better for it. I was ill the other day and because I got a bug then I went back to him i havent eaten since, and even though i have tried to drink soup the other side bulimia has reared its head.

 

I dont know what to do I feel so useless and I am so  so ashamed of myself, no one around me seems to notice the pain I am in and if they do then they dont seem to care.

The day I was off sick from work two of my friends text me to say that the polish ladies were finishing that day and I was so upset, I rang the manager at work and asked him why, I was made out to be such a fool as it was a joke and no one thought that I was really ill and that I couldnt deal with things like this, when i got off the phone with the manager i cried and oh so did I cry,

 

I feel useless and used and stupid and ed has won i went back, and I feel so worthless,

 

We got an offer today for pauls acciednt which he has accepted but i dont feel much better, i know it is good but i am so down at the moment,

 

I am so sorry i feel i have done the worst thing possible and I am guilty as charged.

 

Sorry.

 

Dawn

xx

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