15/03/05

 

I am so FED up of this crap, so fed up of the way ed makes me feel,

 

I have been ill all weekend started as a cold, and then went to a stomach cold, and grrr, ed is right in there now, making me feel worse, as I have hardly eaten and its doing me in,

 

I am so annoyed at me for listening to him and wanting him to help me, I want and dont want it, I know its so wrong and I hate me for feeling so bad,

 

Been crying most of the day and I am scared, scared to talk to people scared to let anyone in to how I am feeling right now,

 

WHICH is so so so so so bad, I want so much to hurt me in more ways than I could think of, yet, I dont want to hurt anyone else, and I cant do it,

 

 

I am giving in, I cant fight much longer, I am growing weaker and I cant stop him from winning,

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