5/05/04

Hi there,

sorry I wasn’t round to chat, but haven’t been well all weekend, hubby keeps seeing this advert on the telly about diabetics, going to the loo all the time and being constantly tired, and he thinks that’s me. I don’t know, I think it’s more due to the fact of my eating patterns although they have been better there’s last few weeks.

I’ve just been feeling very sick, light headed and can’t focus on anything, surprised I could put the computer on now actually, but never mind.

I’m sorry you are feeling so bad I have lots of nightmares especially about food and being sick, and couldn’t really suggest anything to help with them. My dreams are vivid and really wild, I find keeping a dream diary helps me to cope with them, if I write everything down as soon as I wake, they don’t seem so bad.

I used to have a friend called Lightning in my dreams, he would be a sports car, to come and rescue me if I needed him and a friend who I could talk to. I used to think he would be around for ever, as my dreams were really bad, and I would whistle and he’d come.

To some extent you will find with practice that you can control your dreams, you do have a conscious side even when you are asleep.

My friend Lightning, disappeared when I got married and that was the scariest part of being married, I felt like I had been abandoned by him, and my dreams were terrifying for the best part of two years, I had lost all control.

I have in the last six years only seen him twice, and never for very long. Guess he knows I am settled now and safe with my husband, he needs only to keep an eye on me and not protect me like he used to.

I feel dreams are a very significant part of our lives and have their own meaning for each of us. Maybe Lightning was a part of my childhood I had to let go, I don’t know.

Sorry to ramble on, dreams are of course very personal, and I feel very real.

If you think I am a bit strange I don’t mind, keep thinking positive and take care, Dawn

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