Jul 20 2004

30/07/04

 

I think this is something that needs to be said as too many of us are saying this and we dont have to …..

ya all.

Sorry

do we all have to say it,

for how we are feeling for who we are,

non of us should be sorry for anything we say, or anything we do that we think is bad,

as it probably isnt.

We all need to talk

We all need to vent

So I wont except sorry from anyone,

and I promise I will try and not say it too.

we have nothing to be sorry for

we didnt ask for this ed,

it just happens,

and we must try and fight it, not be sorry

for who we are, why we are,

share our experience, help each other listen and care

love and hug

I wont say I am sorry ever again and let this ed win.

 

had to tell you all, and please dont be sorry, we are who we are.

and we must all try and accept it.

 

Love and hugs

Dawn

Jul 19 2004

19/07/04

 

Hi everyone.

just to let you know how things are with me at the moment.

I am really struggling with things, have made three weeks without being sick but am really starting to get paranoid about everything, and cant help but a bit low this week. I had a lovely weekend very busy but nice, and I cant get these bad thoughts about me out of my head.

I feel like I am failing, but am I. I dont know, just dont know how to feel about anything anymore.

 

I will not let this beat me though, I am determined to be me once more.

I hope everyone is doing ok and you are all in my thoughts, take care everyone.

Love and hugs

Dawn

Xxxxx

 

Jul 9 2004

09/07/04

Hi everyone,

Just an idea maybe to post a message about what times you come on the site, then others can know if there’ll be anyone around.

I am normally on from5pm GMTtill about9pm

With exceptions on fridays and over the weekends, as it may be earlier or later.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Would be nice for me to perhaps stay up one night and talk to others, especially as I havent spoken to some of you before properly.

Please let me know, and I will stay up past midnight here, to speak to you.

Love and hugs

Dawn

Xxx

Jul 8 2004

08/07/04

Inside me

Deep down inside,
You can’t see me
Hiding, trying to be free

Deep down inside,
I am trying to worm out
This happy part of me

Deep down inside
I am trying to get out
Instead of taking flight

Oh no, there I go deeper, darker,
No light in here, it gets so much harder

But I see a pin point, a tiny light, something to fight for
And I wriggle on, trying to be more

With each wiggle, I get stronger
With each wiggle, I get closer

I am going to do it
I am going to come out

Be me and be free, into sunshine and not night.

Dawn Chapman 8th July 2004


By kanundra • Posted in poem
0
Jun 30 2004

30/06/04

30/06/2005

Hi,

I wanted to write you this as you took the time to reply to my last post.

I don’t really understand where it came from all those feelings, but I have realised that I really do need to get some outside help even if it is just to talk over everything properly and get it all off my chest. It may have been a post that upsets some, and I know I can’t hid from everything in my past I must face it, not lock it away, otherwise it will just resurface again, and I dont want that.

Any ed illness comes with a lot of baggage, emotional and pysical, some nice and then not nice.

I think that with certain material like this maybe the warning of trigger or something like that is a good idea then those more sensitive can stay away from it. Maybe you can come up with a better warning message, for certain things. I don’t know, I was going to delete it this morning when I got up feeling that no one would have had chance to read it yet, but having seen a couple of the messages back to me, feel maybe it does serve something being there, and will leave it.

I have been to see my mum today and we had a little chat about a few things, some to do with my depression and others to do with my brother, I know she’ll only tell him what I said and maybe now he’s back off his honeymoon I will get a phone call. I don’t feel I have anything to say to him, its Paul he upset really I just got in the way.

Anyway I do feel a little better now, thank you for all of your advice, and I know I will pull through this.

Take care and hope to speak to you soon. Love and hugs Dawn