Downer :(

I tend not to post about things that bother me at the time, because the emotions are pretty raw.

This week has been a tough one, at work and at home.

Pauls job has gotten so much worse on him and to be fair he’s done his absolute best, but they’re almost forcing him out the door.

I had to take him to the doctors on thursday because his stress levels are through the roof. He’s not sleeping, or functioning anywhere like himself. It sucks. So he’s been signed off till Xmas, this means less money for us and less stuff we can do while we’re off.  Nothing like having a bored husband for 10 days…

Unfortunately for me this affects my mood for writing. 😦 so it hasn’t been the best week, even though I have really tried. This computer sucks too, it crashes every day. While I back up on a regular basis, it still crashes and I’ve lost so much work because of it. Bless my hubby’s mate for trying to get mine fixed and lending this one too me, but if it isn’t back soon, (before Xmas) I think I am just going to get a new one in the Jan sales, even if it is buy now pay later… I can’t carry on with this, its just crap.

Today I’ve spent the day cleaning, because I didn’t do any in November lol… its been kinda nice to get the bedroom sort of clean. Still need to put away some junk though, my stash of books, writing stuff and bits and bobs is just all over the place. I don’t know where it all comes from sometimes. Wow….

Been out in -3 this morning to clean and re-fill the pond. The blanketweed is dying off, so its clogging the filters. And it is so so cold, poor fish. The only ones who aren’t feeling the cold are the babies. (they’re still at 12d)

My plan for this afternoon is to carry on cleaning for a bit, then stop and do some writing, hopefully. 🙂

Catch you later.

 

D x

Tues

Had a lovely day relaxing yesterday.  Got chance to catch up on some reading. It was great.

After the losing our Koi on Sunday I was messaged on Facebook by an old family friend. She was having lots of problems with their fish. I went to school with their son Bradley who owns the fish and I offered my limited knowledge and use of a scope to see what was going on.

The pond, lovely a good size and so are the fish. But, they were pretty poorly.

I’ve kept Koi for 4 years now. and as soon as there has been the slightest odd behaviour from my babies, I’ve had the help of someone with a microscope. My local two dealers over the years, have called me paranoid and hard work lol… but I’ve known the bugs were there long before the outward signs were.

Our old school friends mum and my mum used to know each other very well, so my mum tagged along for a catch up, while I took a look at their fish.

It wasn’t hard to see that they had problems from looking at them, very heavily mucused up. So much so that they were practically blind. Bit like the Ogon I rescued earlier this year when we had flukes.

I caught their nice Showa, and took a sample from him. It practically dripped onto the slide. Yikes.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to find, the owner said it looked to her like their skin as coming off, this was just excess mucus, but on first look under the scope at 40x the problems were obvious.

Parasites, in the thousands.

To any other non Koi keeper Chilondonella and White Spot won’t mean too much, but for those of us who do know, we know how badly these fish have got it.

She had been trying to treat them, with some medication I’d never come across before. It did say on the packaging that it dealt with both those parasites, but with the mucus layer being so thick I don’t think it stood much of a chance.

I offered her my suggestions and am willing to go back to re-scrape in a week. Fingers crossed for them. They’re in a bad way.

Here is the Youtube link to the bugs… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVdICSrwNMw&list=UUcctES6g0AypmmSfuS2sRGQ&index=1&feature=plcp

I have no idea why, but this laptop wouldn’t show me what I was videoing as I was doing it, so it isn’t very good.

I also need some new lenses… but it gives you an idea of the numbers of bugs involved.

Today, we decided to take a little ride to Quality Nishikigoi I had the pleasure of speaking to Tim earlier in the week over my shusui and wanted to see where his place was.

Very impressed with the gentleman there, Paul. And their whole set up. Some very clean and nice koi. I will more than likely be going back 🙂

Now I am going to enjoy the rest of my day, cleaning my filters and looking after my own Koi. 🙂

Catch you soon.

A sad day : (

So today we lost our Shusui.

A Koi that we have had for 4 years.

Of course, she didn’t look as clean as that anymore. The blue had spread, but she was one of our first, and you don’t forget that.

I wondered if you could protect the content of your blog, as I was going to upload some of the autopsy pictures. However, realized they might be a little gruesome for some. So decided against it.

The autopsy revealed she had a large cyst. And millions of eggs. Although the eggs were not bad there was nothing we could have done to save her. A real shame, but at least she isn’t suffering anymore.

However, if anyone is interested don’t hesitate to ask,

Sorry that this week has been a tough one. Hopefully, it will get better from here.

Dawn

A mixed week thoughts and feelings :(

So, yeah it has been a pretty mixed week.

Quite simple really, its been tough. Very tough. Work has been hard, hard to get through each day.

I hate that the nurse tells me things I already know. Blood pressure is still up. If it continues then I may have to go on tablets etc etc. My weight is a big issue with her, because I know I am a big girl. I don’t hide from it. But what would she sooner me be, eating, or not eating? No brainer really. My body is, as it is.

But there is a decision to make, between being ill in ‘one sense’ and then being ill in another.

I have had a good week ‘food wise’ stuck to what I wanted to eat and didn’t let the work side of things get to me so that I over did it. I have been quite shocked in the fact that a pair of wellies didn’t fit me over the weekend and now that they do. I don’t like drastic weight loss, it fuels the Eating Disorder behaviors that are so stuck in my head. Those behaviors which I fight so hard to ignore every single time I am confronted with food.
I wish Recovery was so simple, you get over it. But in my mind, you don’t. There is this thing that has been deep seated inside your brain for, well for me 17 years. 4 years in recovery just still doesn’t quite cut it.

The good thing is I know. I know all the tricks that ED tries. Believe me he sticks that knife in where ever and with what ever I do.

I still have the confidence and the drive to fight, and I won’t go backwards. It just really is a struggle sometimes.

I am glad that I can still say that, I am glad even though I am doing well with my writing and my personal stuff, that I don’t feel the need to change.

People will love me, or hate me.  But, I don’t lie, and I won’t. Ed did that enough for me in those 17 years.

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General life…

I’ve had some big issues with my Koi this week, and they’ve not got easier. One particularly sick fish is really struggling. But, I’ve had a good friend come out to help out today, and I’ve decided on a course of action. It still is touch and go. Costia is the worst thing I’ve ever encountered.

But it isn’t over yet. She hasn’t given up just yet, and neither will I.

Will let you know how we get on tomorrow. A sharp PP bath, and into my QT tank with my baby fish she will go.  Fingers crossed.

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Writing,

I have had a very pleasant week. Best Friends going live on you tube,  has been the light keeping me totally on track. I’ve had the nervousness, I’ve had the excitement and its been the best week of my life in that regard.

I can only hope that it continues to hit home and that people can relate to the girls situations and to the relationship they have with each other.

So keep watching, and keep us in your thoughts through this next week. On every level, I need positive vibes.

Speak soon.

D x

One day to go!!!

So yeah, I should be excited for the release of our show tomorrow.  ‘Best Friends’   🙂

However, I am now feeling a little nervous.

I don’t think I should be, but I can’t help it.

https://www.facebook.com/bestfriendstvseries?fref=ts

 

And it will be live on http://www.youtube.com/user/BestFriendstheseries/featured    so please follow us there too.

 

So, if you can follow me closely tomorrow. And we’ll all get to watch it together… Can’t wait really!

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In other news.

The pond had its good dose of PP in early evening last night. And fingers crossed for them all, but my Shusui just doesn’t seem happy at all, still sulking today and now she’s flicking too. Swimming totally wrong, not like her. She’s well stressed over the treatment prob, and the costia. Just hoping it has killed them on her. Will re-scrape again to see in a couple of days.

I just hate it when there are problems like this with them. Love them to bits, but when it turns nasty it really does.

I’m on my holidays next week. A good break from the stress at work, and some time to look after myself and hopefully do some writing. I’m itching to do something, just haven’t been able to with everything going on around me. It has just been one thing after another. Some good, some not so good.

There are some other possibilities lurking around for me. Have my fingers in all kinds of pies at present. Let me just hope that one works out, and then I can tell you all about them. 🙂

Catch you soon, and will keep everyone updated on my poorly Koi… bless her.

x