I thought I would update everything that has happened, in the last few days as it’s been absolutely crazy.

Thursday

My birthday… and my Nans

Yes I was very sad and I didn’t really want to celebrate much, but I went out and bought some new boots with my birthday money, and then we went out for something to eat, I ate it all as well. I did feel a bit over full, but wanted to prove to my hubby that I was getting better.

We took a friend to the doctors and went shopping in Iceland, by the time we eventually got back, I was exhausted….

I didn’t sleep that night and neither did Paul. He said he has a big surprise for me on Saturday, I am having my hair, and nails done in my step sisters shop and then going for a meal.

He was agonising over to tell me where, because I was panicking a little. But he didn’t.

Friday

Was really cool. I went to see one of my friends in ormskirk for coffee and got a few bits from my Nans, I think there are some people staying in our caravan as Paul asked me to pick up all the bedding from there. And more to the point he cleared our spare room out and made the beds, dead give away.

Saturday

I woke up late, and forced some breakfast down. Then went off to get my hair and nails done, which was awesome.

Then when 8pm came and we were ready to go out, his friend rang and we made a small detour to our local club to see him. I wasn’t going to get out of the car, but Paul asked me nicely to come in for one drink.

I can’t believe I never twigged, but walking in was amazing. everyone was there, and I was sooooooo happy…

I posted some pics will post some more later.

I really have had an amazing weekend

And I love my husband sooooooo much….

To all my friends, here and everywhere

Thank you….

Dawn xxxx

Hi everyone,

Just to let you all know how today went, it was very emotional and I cried my eyes out at the service, but it was expected,

The vicar read my poem out and everyone loved it, so I was pleased.

We all went back to the British legion in her village, and had a few drinks, as I am full of cold I had hot whisky and water, and managed to eat something, although I really didn’t want to.

Really really didn’t want to.

So it’s my birthday tomorrow, and I am not looking forward to it, I just don’t want to celebrate anything, but I know I have to start to get on with everything now,

I come first, and I have to concentrate on getting better.

Thank you to all of my friends for the birthday wishes, I will speak to you all soon.

Take care, love Dawn xx

Im full of cold, and I am dreading tomorrow,

I don’t want to go, I don’t want to have to admit to myself that my nan really is gone,

I wrote her a poem and maybe I will share it on here.

I am struggling with everything, and I lost all my phone numbers from my phone, so please text me if you want. you know my number….

Wish me luck and am sorry Im not much fun at the moment,

Take care all, love Dawn xx

Hey there everyone.

So am feeling a little bit, ummm. just a bit lost, and a bit everything. Am finding it hard to concentrate on anything, and anyone, I’ve not been well this last few days, had terrible tummy ach, which has made my sleep even worse. I think its just worry, over everything.

The funeral will be on Wednesday, and I hope I can then settle a bit after that.

I am still finding it being a bit strange in her house, everything has gone, there are only bare essentials there now, and I am just disheartened by some of the things family are doing.

My mum is trying to be as strong as she can but I see how bad this has affected her, I think like me she wishes she was there, when my nan passed on, both of us had spent so much time with her, it was a big shock for us.

I had a good day on Thursday, arrived at the hospital to see Shirley at 9 a bit wet, but they have lovely fresh coffee in there so I warmed up quick.

I had a really good talk with Shirley, but left feeling very down, to then go and make a Christmas dinner, for all of us. None of us wanted it, and it did turn out a bit of a disaster, the spuds wouldn’t cook quick enough, and then the sprouts weren’t ready.

But we all seemed to have a laugh, and it was ok in the end.

I got to go home early to, which was cool, was back in burscough by 530, unfortunately a friend had some tickets for us to go out, so I made an effort and went out but wish I hadn’t. It all felt really wrong, and I just didn’t want to be there.

I made my excuses and left, coming home to a warm bed, and my pjs was just what I wanted.

My mum is with her friend Pat today, getting herself massaged and pampered, so I am hoping it will do her some good to get out her tears, as I don’t think she has just yet.

Love to you all anyways, am not stopping on for long today, maybe another hour or so…

Take care Dawn x

I have one question,
Of which I know you cannot answer,

My life has been full of pain, to which you have eased.
With your clever wit and sarcasm that never ceased to please

You brought light to my life, and gave me the gift.
It did begin to close this great rift.

I knew you inside and out, and was proud to call you a friend.

My life has meaning, because you were there,

My life has great beauty, for I shared it with you.

This question of love I need not ask, for I do know the answer.

You’re inside my heart forever, and forever you will stay.

I love you nan.

Dawn xxx