Hey there everyone.

So am feeling a little bit, ummm. just a bit lost, and a bit everything. Am finding it hard to concentrate on anything, and anyone, I’ve not been well this last few days, had terrible tummy ach, which has made my sleep even worse. I think its just worry, over everything.

The funeral will be on Wednesday, and I hope I can then settle a bit after that.

I am still finding it being a bit strange in her house, everything has gone, there are only bare essentials there now, and I am just disheartened by some of the things family are doing.

My mum is trying to be as strong as she can but I see how bad this has affected her, I think like me she wishes she was there, when my nan passed on, both of us had spent so much time with her, it was a big shock for us.

I had a good day on Thursday, arrived at the hospital to see Shirley at 9 a bit wet, but they have lovely fresh coffee in there so I warmed up quick.

I had a really good talk with Shirley, but left feeling very down, to then go and make a Christmas dinner, for all of us. None of us wanted it, and it did turn out a bit of a disaster, the spuds wouldn’t cook quick enough, and then the sprouts weren’t ready.

But we all seemed to have a laugh, and it was ok in the end.

I got to go home early to, which was cool, was back in burscough by 530, unfortunately a friend had some tickets for us to go out, so I made an effort and went out but wish I hadn’t. It all felt really wrong, and I just didn’t want to be there.

I made my excuses and left, coming home to a warm bed, and my pjs was just what I wanted.

My mum is with her friend Pat today, getting herself massaged and pampered, so I am hoping it will do her some good to get out her tears, as I don’t think she has just yet.

Love to you all anyways, am not stopping on for long today, maybe another hour or so…

Take care Dawn x