It’s been a real while since I’ve sort of really wanted to chat about some things.
Well, for those on my list who might be triggered, please look away.
Over the 4 years, since I’ve been in recovery. I left Cheadle Royal with a new purpose in life, to really try and enjoy me. And not to let food or things rule my head. And for the most part I have. I’ve not let the ‘weight’ worry me too much. A few people upset me along the way, but I tried not to let ED back in big time.
This last year’s been really tough, with everything that has been going on. But I’ve taken it in my stride. I wanted to be me. Not be ED.
After continually worrying over my weight issue, and with work not helping. I drive a wonderful delivery van. But, it’s a food van. And temptation to ‘eat’ is always there.
Chatting to a few customers this last month about diet etc, triggered me to want to find a solution that would keep me healthy and not let ED back in my hand running havoc.
I’ve chosen to use this particular diet. Where for most of the working week. My intake is mostly liquids. This will help keep my focus ‘off the food on the van’ and give my body all the nutrients it actually needs throughout the day, without just ‘not eating’ because in the past this has just triggered bulimia after my evening meal.
Last week, I followed the plan for three days, and for this one four. I think four will be good for me, so that I can eat something as a treat one of the working days.
I am being monitored properly. Because this is a big decision for me, and one where I do need the emotional support and watching from a professional.
We’ve chatted about a goal and once I’ve reached that goal, then I’ll move my intake up slightly so that it will stay steady. But for the most part, it’s really to try and stop the rubbish I’m just continuing to eat while driving, and it includes breakfast which is something I wasn’t doing anymore.
Weekends… well I’m not going to change much there. I’ve still had the breakfast start to the day. But lunch and dinner with hubby will be required. And I am not giving up alcohol… so ner… lol
In other news, even though I was supposed to be off work this week. I’ve managed to get a good few things done.
Editing with EJ is so much easier on my macbook. And I’m really happy with it, although it’s taken some getting used too.
The fish, are trying to spawn again. Jeeze… but all is well.
And Bobby, is turning into right a little character. Love him to bits. He’s sitting watching everything I do.
Well must get back to it.
Catch you soon.
Dawn x x
I have a young niece that has been in and out of treatment – I want her to follow your blog – hopefully it will encourage and help her.
Thank you for the comment. 🙂 That’s no problem. My blog is as honest as can be. Sometimes even after being in recovery for so long, it’s difficult to let those behaviours go and to work through things on a day to day basis.
I learned a lot from when I attended day care. (Almost 18 mths) if you or your niece need anything at all. Even if it’s just a friendly ear. Drop me a line and I will pass you my email.
that’s awesome that you’re trying to go about it right and fighting your ED… my husband has to watch what he eats to keep his weight down and he does this thing on his phone where he has to keep close track of all he eats and how many calories and I like it because when he goes works out he has a heart monitor that tells him how many calories he burned off… so that even if it’s just a 1500 calorie diet he can potentially eat more than that because of how much he burns off at his work outs… it makes me feel better because he has basically gone on starvation to loose weight real fast and I know that is not healthy and I bug him about it… so I’m glad you found something that will work for you and I hope it all goes well…
oh and thanks for liking me on Facebook… made my day 😀