There is a big black hole inside,

A vortex,

which I can’t describe.

It’s whirring round and around, and I am struggling to stand my ground.

I try each day to fill it, but it is a bottomless pit.

Starving for affection, not knowing which direction

Fumbling forwards, not turning back

I believe there’s more than this crap.

Dawn Chapman. 18th February 2005

By kanundra Posted in poem


Hi everyone

Am just writing this, as I got some time on the net, will be back on a bit more when I get home, as Paul and I have done a lot of working out of things, and I know I need to keep talking and getting through this,

It hasnt been easy at all being in my nans coping with her little nigly ways and her watching every thing i eat and stuff, ed had taken a good hold of me again and I have been bottling it all up and i know that has been wrong, I broke down the other night and had it out with paul, we talked for hours, and it was good,

You see I got my appointment through back for the ed clinic in ormskirk and I am so scared of going back, I want to but I dont, I am freaking out about it big time, but i know i have to talk about some of the things in my past that I never have before, and havent still been able to with anyone yet,


I want to say welcome to any of the new members here, that I have missed and I hope I can get to know you all,


And a huge thanks, goes to my special friends who know who they are, for always being here for me even through this real rough time,


I love you all so dearly and have missed you so so so much,

Love and huge huggies Dawn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx