24/12/04

11:44

I had to get this out everyone, this is doing my head in,

I cant cope with this, this pain, this hurt,

Inside of me is crying out, I hate everything about me, I hate me so much,

 

why cant, I just be happy why am I so cruel to myself,

 

Had my wisdom tooth out on monday, 45 mins in the dentists chair, of torture, and I loved it,

The pain was terrible the injections, awful but I enjoyed it as it was hurting me,

The tooth came out and all i could think of was, hey great now i dont have to worry bout food, and ed won,

 

I havnt eaten much all week and I feel so so bad, I feel so humongous worse than I ever have done, and I am so hungry,

I woke up crying this morning, and all I wanted to do was get rid of all this fat around me, anyway i could, if I had the money i would see a plastic surgeon n get rid of it,

 

But this isnt me talking this is the demon inside, I dont want any of these things, I hate them I hate the feeling of total despair and hurt,

 

I cant stand this, and I hate this time of year, and I just wish for all of us, IT WOULD GO AWAY.

 

I HATE ED, LEAVE ME ALONE,

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