7:20

 

(((((everyone)))))))

 

 

Well Ed won big time last nite, and I lost the plot completly, broke my heart, and cried all nite,

 

I dont know what happened I was so happy, with going to the bafta on wednesday, and ed hit me hard, I was sick,  after my tea,

 

and then I thought oh well and had a drink of vodka, and I had been talking to a friend about abuse, and when Paul came home, it all came out,

 

EVERYTHING

 

I couldnt tell him though not really the only way I could let him see it was by showing him on here, what I had written,

 

I didnt stop crying, couldnt didnt want him to hate me, I felt violated and disgusted and I hated myself for saying it,

 

this morning I dont know what to do, I dont know

 

I am lost,

 

I wont give up fighting, and I will enjoy Wed night,

and ED can **** never come back,

 

He hits you when you are down , and also very happy, hes nothing and I know this and I I wanted to die last night I didnt want to go on anymore and Paul was there and he held me and comforted me, and I am just speachless.

 

So Im going,

 

talk to you all later, and keep fighting everyone of you, we all deserve more than this,

 

 

Love and huge hugs,

 

Dawn

xxxxxxx