Circles

Going round in circles, I seem to be, instead of being free.
Round and around, I go on this merry go round.

Merry ! go round ! pah,

Nothing merry about this, who would call this bliss!

This inner hate,
I should leave nothing to fate,
I have to make a stand, so let’s not be grand.

Hating me, I’ll never be free,

Round and around
This Merry go round…

Friends care

No matter what you’re going through,
Remember I’ll be there,
To comfort, and to hold you: just because I care.

Friendships last a life time and good ones hard to find
Reached out across this land a future we will find.

Written for Sarah Stancer.

Dawn Chapman. July 2004.

Days

The day draws near and “Yes” I fear, for my world grows even darker.

There are times I think of you all day, and some times I don’t.

If only things were different,

If only I could have saved you,

It must have meant to happen,

It made me who I am, although full of weakness, I am strong in some ways too.

You taught me love was forever, but you weren’t here to stay.

I wonder are you watching over, if so are you jealous, for now I am married.

Don’t I say be jealous, you still hold a special place. You’re always in my thoughts.

Never forgotten, and never far away.

Dawn Chapman  28^th January 2004

(married name is Chapman)

Hate me

I hate, hating me, but I just can’t see,
that the evil inside is driving me wild.
This pure anger towards my inner child,
I want to hide not enjoy this ride

Drug fuelled emotion,
Bitterness and Pain
I see no colour
Just grey miserable rain

No light the end of this tunnel
Just more darkness I see
Drowning in self hatred,

Please pull me free.

Inner danger

Things you cannot see are the things that I can
Inside you and me, someone’s waiting to be free.
Hold my hand let’s not be afraid,
our spirits can and will be saved,

We can face our future; we have one another,
Now there’s hope there can be no other.
Together we can brave the darkness,
Love each other and hate ourselves less,

Life can be amazing,
Let’s prove it isn’t raining.

Let’s prove we can make it, not fake it.

Dawn Chapman 2004

Food

Food
A nightmare
A prayer
Whatever!!  I don’t care…

I sit alone, writing as I think
Why these words come out while I don’t blink.

Yet I feel it easing the pain, to let flow this great jumble from my brain.
To create this separate world. A world from the inside.
I know, no longer can it hide.

The hurt and pain grows everyday
I feel I want to slip away.
The things inside will never change.
The huge dark clouds draw me in, deeper and deeper,
From where I can’t be saved.
I am sure I see the reaper.

Shall I fight, or crumble
I do not know.
My stomach rumbles and I can’t go on.

Dawn Chapman. May 2001