23/01/07

 

Hey everyone…

I wanted to say if bad luck upsets you please don’t read this…

Two weeks ago I fell on Monday at work, at 430, I work with cardboard, and have to stand on a small platform, of which I lost my footing on, and slipped off, I caught my left middle finger on my desk and twisted it right back, with a nasty crack. Yes it hurt, and I am un a lot of pain, so I go see the first aider who just laughs and tells me to run it under the cold tap. I did, but the pain was awful. When my manager comes out of a meeting I tell him and he laughs along with the supervisor. I know it was a stupid accident but it hurt.

My step dad takes me home, so I don’t have to drive anyway, and I take some mega painkillers, it doesnt help, so off I trot to hospital. They x-ray it and they think I have a fracture, but don’t plaster it. Until I see the specialist they won’t say anything but I can’t work.

I go to work as I am desperate for the money, and my boss is nice enough to give me real light duties to do.

I am in a lot of pain, but ok, I manage…

On Thursday I go to the fracture clinic and they confirm it’s a spiral fracture on my fifth metacarpal. I have it plastered up.

I manage to work Friday and all last week with it in plaster, I am miserable… and Ed is trying to rule my head. Saying all the regular nasty things to me…

On Thursday with the bad winds I can’t get home so my step dad takes me to his house and I stay there I don’t see my husband Paul and I am sad as I love him dearly. On the Friday morning, I am upset and I cry to him on the phone, I have been feeling bad for ages, and I agree to go back to the doctor and go back on my medication, (anti depressants) Then he tells me he is going out for his mates birthday and I am not invited.. I cried, all I wanted was a bit of support some love, but oh no he went out…

So sat at home on me own, having some wine, I get a text of my polish girlfriend Monika who was staying up the road from me that night, she is bored, and so I say lets go out then. So at ten I met her in the local pub and we dance and have a drink. I drink diet coke for heavens sake.

Hubby hasn’t taken his phone with him so I text his friend to say I went out.

On the way back from the pub we stop for Monika’s supper, and head for her flat. There I fall down a pot hole, hurting my ankle. I eventually get up after cursing loudly and struggle up her stairs where I can survey the damage, and. I have cut my fourth finger, and my right knee, my ankle is massive and now I carnet get home. I call a taxi and its going to be an hour. So I walk home.

Hubby aint there, he didn’t get the train, I am so annoyed, and I knew he would miss it, so I ring his friend. He was getting a lift home, so I wait for him.

I don’t say anything to him, I don’t have to. I get my mum to take me to hospital, thankfully it’s not broken. But it hurts more than my hand…

I went to the docs yesterday and I got my anti dep back, and took some, but I can’t take the painkillers and them together, I was so ill yesterday, so they will have to wait, I can manage for a bit longer without them…

I just wanted to let it out, I guess how frustrated I am with everything. How hurt I am and I am feeling so so sorry for myself.

I will heal I know, but its not good right now. Really not good….

Love Dawn.

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