13/04/06

 

Hi everyone,

Just to let you all know, my mum was taken into hospital on monday, she started with a pain on sat in her back, and it just seemed to get worse and worse, she couldnt move. She has had 3 bad chest infections in the last two months, and this one has been diagnosed as phumonia, now turned into septacemia, I been to see her tonight and she looks just the same, my little ol’mum, but she looks week and so so tired, really drained, I feel awful, you know how it is, life gets in the way of so many things, and the people we love the most, we also sometimes neglect the most.

 

I am finding it very tough this week not to think really bad things about myself and my sad life, but I have also been fighting it so hard, I have just been given the release and something like this knocks me for six,

I came home from the hospital on tues, crying, I felt so sad, I need my mum so much, yet I didnt even know, and I guess I do now…

So many bad things went through my mind on tues, Paul was out with his mate, and I was alone with a bottle of wine, I tried to ring a friend, but there was no answer, she been away for a few days, as a holiday. so I tried another friend and no answer.

 

I did good though, I didnt give in even though there was no one to talk to, I kept my head held high and I didnt let ed in. I had about half my wine, tucked up in bed, watched some telly and went to sleep.

 

Today now its easter, I have some time off and I can spend some more time at the hospital too. Frank mums hubby is going fishing with mine tomorrow, so I got the time to myself, I will enjoy it.

 

Please even though sometimes we dont get on with our families and our mums, remember how special they are and how much we would miss them if they werent here.

 

Hope you are all okay,

Huge hugs going out to you all

Dawn

xxxx

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